First competition results!

Well guys, the results are in!

We are pleased to announce the competition was a smashing success! It was a blast. We really would like to thank FCN for cooperating! And... we would like to thank ourselves. Actually, just myself... because as usual, all of the fashion posts came from me.


So, results...

And the winner is ... ::insert drumroll::

Our very own, RFCN!


Winning with a grand total of 32 votes compared to FCN's 26 votes.


If you are confused, it's because we tallied up email votes and the various polls on FCN and RFCN.

Nice try FCN, nice try. Bring it anytime

You're Out!

We'll, if any of you have ever officiated a sport, you'd know it can be both the most annoying and humorous job you'd ever have. Over the years I've had some pretty stinken funny dialogue with coaches.

So without very ado

Introducing some of the most humorous interactions with people who argue but can't argue well...

1. The funny angry man

::Kid does not slide at home plate when there was a play on him::

Official ruling- Automatic out

A Manager [our former umpire in chief] storms to home plate and says "That's a bunch of bull crap"

Rich ::smiles::

Manager says "ARE YOU SMILING? DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?"

Rich "No sir"

Manager "Bull CRAP, you are smiling at me!"

Rich "No ::smiles more:: I'm not..."

::Manager yells profanity and walks away::

2 Calvinball (no really, click the link)

::kid hits a mile long fly ball that makes it all the way to a parking lot and rolls out of sight::

Official ruling- Ground rule double

A manager comes storming out and says "No, no! We have a rule that says that the parking lot is a ground rule triple!"

Me "Great! Its on paper right?"

Manager "No, the last umpire declared that from now on the parking lot is a ground rule triple"

Me "Uh, if its not written down, then I go by the rule book"

::Assistant coach and opposing manager both point out the obvious, that I'm correct::

Manager "Well you didnt' go over this in the pregame meeting! You didn't plan ahead!"

Me "But you told me to start without a meeting!"

3. Short Term Memory

::Coach complains about the first baseman "straddling" the bag will preparing for a pick off attempt by the pitcher::

Official ruling- Perfectly legal

Coach "You have to stop the baseman from straddling the bag!"

Me "That's perfectly legal, as long as he has both feet inside fair territory"

::3 innings later::

Coach "He's doing it again! You have to stop him! Do your job!"

Me "Coach, if you don't remember last time we discussed this, I told you it was legal for him to do that"

4. The Concerned Mom

::Crowed gets out of control and even yells profanity for a good 10 minutes::

Me: "Shuuttttup!! All of you! Or people will need to leave"

A mother mumbles: "How dare he say that in front of my kid"

You know you're an umpire if...

You can only count to 4.

You can't say the word out without pumping a fist

When people ask you a question you reply with "it was a judgement call"

You can convince anyone that you understand what they are saying without actually listening to them

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Hurt

Dear Readers,

It has come to our attention that a recent post came across as offensive to some families. It turns out the Post "Courage Kid, Courage" may been taken to heart by some people. I am very sorry for the hurt I may have caused through my words. For those of you who know me, you know that I do not have mean spirit and I most certainly do not intend to hurt other people. But, I do have a loose tongue and sometimes I say things or do things that do hurt other people. That is why I feel God has laid it on my heart to apologize for my actions and I hope that you all might be able to forgive me. I know that we deleted the post, but I know that won't be able to delete it from your mind. I am sorry if I deeply wounded anyone. That was not the intent of the post. But, I know, words are words, and they can never be taken back.

- Sincerly Yours
Zech Keenan

What's Your Fashion Statement?

Fashion is not just an attempt to keep clothes on your body in order to remain decent (although it may be for some guys), but it is also a way to express yourself. I will suck up my manly pride and admit that a search for a good fashion statement may warrant a little shopping... and I do mean, a little shopping. It may be necessary for a guy to spend 10 minutes once every few months to maybe take a look at what color the clothes are before just buying it. I'm not so sure girls run into the same problem. If you can shop in 10 minutes, I'm free Monday night, call me ;-)

What a girl wears says more about her then anything else a guy can figure out while glancing at her as she's walking by, or at a signal light. Sometimes, people want to make a bold statement, and sometimes they just don't realize what they look like. How do you tell someone when they are wearing something that just doesn't' work?

After many years, I have finally realized, guys can't. Girls only care what other girls think about their fashion. It started after Adam gave Eve a blank stare after she asked him if she looked better in fig leaves or olive leaves. From then on, girls just stopped caring about what guys say on fashion. Guy: "Hey, I don't' think you look good in yellow strips." Girl: "Well, Cindy said I look cute in it." Guy: "Yeah, but I just think you should leave that in the 70's where it belongs" Girl: "This is why I don't ask you. I think it'll look cute."

I'm just wondering two things.
1: Why would a girl ask if something looks good, if she really doesn't want to know?
2: Why do girls care more about what other girls think, when its the guys they are trying to attract?

Fashion #2 Designer Sunglasses

Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Cindy. Cindy was a very pretty girl, but she was incredibly self-conscious about her face. She thought she looked like this, but she really looked like this and she wanted to look like this. Cindy went to work to discover a formula to hide her face. She tried wearing one of these, or walking around like this. She even tried walking around like this because this wasn't working and this was just weird. Finally she discovered sunglasses. She thought to herself, if people already wear them, I can just make them bigger.

So she did.

Soon every self-conscious girl in the world, also known as every girl in the world, started a trend with the sunglasses.

Just as surely as girls never stop becoming self-conscious about some part of their body, the trend continues with a huge force behind it.

Thanks Cindy, thanks.

If this sad, sad story isn't' enough to convince you, here's three reasons not to wear designer sunglasses.

1. Your face is pretty, just wear it.

2. If guys can't see your face, what else are they going to look at?

3. If Saturn, Mars and that one star fell out of orbit in front of the sun, while earth was invaded with giant walking string beans, you wouldn't be able to see.