Itching for Ye Good Olde Days

Technology these days is disappointing. I've decided it isn't worth the bother. I now believe that the Amish really do have something. This whole "electricity" thing? Yeah, just not doin' it for me. So here's why.

1. You spend more time trying to figure out how it works then it could ever hope to save you. Have you ever tried to put something more complicated then a light bulb together? I mean seriously folks, you don't even have to put a light bulb together! When you actually do put things together you have two options: 1. be a man, 2. be a woman. By that I mean you can either use directions or not. Guys don’t use them, so here I'm talking to the women out there. Can you read what they say? Chances are you can't. It's either in a foreign language, or it was and the translation is horrible. I mean, does anybody actually think to edit those things? Come on! There is a thing called "spell check," it's on just about EVERYTHING now days. Then of course you have to figure out what your item actually does. You may think "that's stupid, you bought it, you should know what it does at least." To you I would reply "you apparently don't know any men." You see, guys will buy the newest technology just because it's cool. If it's fast, breaks things, or blows things up, you can bet your green card your man will buy it. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, by the time you DO figure out what it is, what it does, and how to get it together, it's out of date and you have to buy a new one. Then you repeat the whole process all over again. It's a vicious cycle.

2. Then of course you have all the dangers that come with new technology.

A. Microwaves (heating appliances) scared people for a while. The thought was that all those focused microwaves (small squiggly lines that do bad things) being emitted might cause cancer in people. Can you believe that? How in the world do people get these ideas? Microwaves are meant for GOOD. Good things do not cause bad things. I think the Supreme Court said that .... or something.

B. Technology makes you fat. If you're a normal American you probably spend about 5 hours a day either checking email, playing with your iPod or iPhone or iRack, or playing video games at work. This means you don't have time to exercise or eat healthy and all that junk, blah blah blah, you've all heard this before.

So I think I'm going to be Amish. From now on there's no more technology for me. Just good olde fashion horses and candles. Wish me luck, but don't leave me any comments, I won't be able to see them.