4/7/08

How to rip off ronald

Below are 11 ways that make "TINSTAAFL" seem as if it simply isn't true. Now, it should be understood that these are not things that we have tried ourselves or recommend for you to try, but merely ways that we would do it-- if we were to do it.


1. "I forgot my money"

3 step process:
order your food, forget your money, act sorry at the window. Works every time.

2. "1 large frite"

2 step process:

Order a large sprite, at the window ask "where's my large fry". Act very, very mad.

TIP: Make sure they serve sprite; bring money just in case.

3. "I have a buy one get one free coupon"

When ordering, tell them you have a buy one get one free coupon. 11 times in a row and counting, they forgot to ask for it. I have yet to do it on purpose, but I did start keeping track of how many times we both forgot.

TIP: you may think that this is a lame number 3 suggestion, but in reality... this is probably the only one that will actually work, and you don't end up in jail. Keep that in mind before you try anything stupid.


4. "You forgot my burger dude"

It's the oldest one in the book, "I was here earlier and you didn't give me my Big Mac". Be advised, that this one takes more work at In and Out. They will actually check their records to see if you ordered it. So, order a lot of stuff and say it fast. It's all in the wording, you didn't give me the burger I ordered... (not that I paid for it). At McDonalds... you're good to go, just be sure that they didn't actually forget your burger because chances are they did.

TIP: Where a suit or bring an adult. No more then 2 teens can be in the car for this one to work.

5. Smile at the girl

TIP: Axe, and good looks to begin with... and bring money just in case.

6. The 1 car sneak

Skip the ordering window, but hang out in-between windows until some orders behind you. Hope that they order something good. If you get caught, tell them it's been a long day and you thought you had ordered or that this was your first time in a drive though and you didn't know.

7. The Sprinter

Strap on the Nikes, you have 0.1-3 seconds while the bag is held outside of the window before it makes it into the car. Time it well. Watch out for the elbow and the left hand mirror. DO NOT STOP RUNNING. after the dude realizes that taco bell ain't paying for another crunch wrap... he will be coming. A getaway car will increase the likelihood of you ever getting a chance to eat that crunch wrap.

Run buddy, run.

TIP: To increase the emotional impact, listen to Chariots of Fire or Mission Impossible for 3 hours before you begin and during the endeavor too. It also decreases seconds thoughts.

8. The sprinter Advanced

Same as number 7, but you have a friend. He orders a bunch of stuff on the menu (enough for you and him), make sure he never actually touches the bag (that way they can't say it's his fault and besides I doubt they have a standard procedure for this type of thing). They'll remake the food. Even though this does require a little more planning, it's worth it. You don't have to worry about the angry dude chasing you, the elbow or the chance that you open it up and find a $.79 taco. And if done right, you'll have a 10 second window instead of 2 seconds.

TIP: this friend, better be someone you trust... he could really screw you.

9. Bring your old cup

At some places, they will even let you get away with is. I mean that as opposed to you getting away with it because you didn't get caught or you came at 3:30 in the morning and made your own door.

10. "This burger tastes like crap"

Eat half the burger, ask for the manager. Ask him why there is mayo on it...

TIP: Anger!! They had better think you're capable of a service complaint that makes it to people in high places.

11. Check the receipt

There should be a number on it to call for a service complaint, they'll send you a free meal coupon.


If you would like permission to use any of these, it will only cost you a free meal at carls. We've been low on funds ever since we tried to hire those assassins.

5 comments:

Austin said...

Ohhh yes, ohh yes! Good stuff here.

"Two thumbs way up!!"" (stolen off the back of 'super-size me')

Anonymous said...

ha, that was funny.

and it would have been really funny if i had read it two years ago, before i started working behind the counter at a bread store.

people actually do this stuff.

drg. headwall.

that being said, you guys are clever, but if you have any pity on the poor person behind the counter, don't actually carry out these threats!

FCN said...

I actually tried #1 at Subway yesterday, but they just wrapped up the sandwich and said they'd save it for me.

Oh well...

Anonymous said...

As far as the "no such thing as a free lunch" goes, Michele and I figure that it's far easier to just be on God's side, and have him rain mana down, send a few crows with bread, and some quails for the protein. Maybe even a goat now and then. That's what I'd call a truly free lunch =D

Anonymous said...

Pretty stinkin' funny. I literally could not stop laughing at #7 and #8.

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