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Starting the Habbit



Breaking the Habbit

Yeah, We're That Cool

In case you haven't noticed we haven't posted in a while. That's because we are cool. Yeah, I just said that. In fact, not posting makes us so much cooler than FCN.



Now I know you probably are wondering why we are cooler... actually I don't think you are, you probably just think we are stupid... But for the sake of credibility and our post, we will assume you asked why.



I have 3 reasons why...



1: Silent Is The New Eloquent



"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech." -Martin Fraquhar Tupper



But maybe more fitting for RFCN would be: "Words can make a deeper scar than silence can heal". Yeah, sometimes we just like digging holes. Like making fun of Hilary Clinton for example... now we lost our dear friend Trevor. Who'd a thunk there were actually men out there that liked her? Oh wait, it was a girl killed Trevor... strange. Oh well, good thing we have more authors on our staff than the Yankee's do all-stars. That's a funny comparison, because our staff performs like the Yankee's do too. Yes, I purposely left that open for interpretation, even though deep down inside, we all know it requires none. But our second quotation doesn't really work when we are trying to explain the great reasons we had for being silent, so let's just go with silent is the new eloquent.





2: You Miss Us, Don't You!



We wanted you to realize how much you miss us. You probably didn't miss us at all, but we'd like to think you did. After all, our site was built off false ego. No, I didn't just admit that.





3: Suspense




Not posting builds suspense. What would life be like without suspense? I'll tell you what it would be like, next week...

What I'm trying to say is, the more RFCN doesn't post, the less boring your life will be.

RFCN is building suspense for a grand opening! Details to come...



Not posting also gives us writers more time to do other things. Other things like not getting arrested, or eating Doritos, or playing golf... Lots of golf. You know, important stuff like that.



Besides, we had work, jury duty and important things to do. And Rich is lazy.



Say goodbye to Trevor!

Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman

Could it get any better?




Edit: Since this doesn't want to fit properly, and I really don't know how to fix that, just make it full screen. Or you could just deal with the fact that a small piece of the screen is not visible. Whatever suits you best.

An Airsofter's Journey: Part the finaliath

The day had finally arrived. My first airsoft war. After carrying my gun around my house for weeks, pretending to be everyone from Jason Bourne to 007 to Rambo to a sniper taking aim at Hillary Clinton, I had finally managed to convince my friend to let me play in one of his airsoft wars. It was going to be an intense experience, I could tell. These were no pansies with peashooters. These were men who took the game seriously. In fact, my friend said I should probably wear camouflage, so as not to ruin the aura that is "Make-Believe War." "Make no mistake," said my friend. "The men who play this game are willing to give their life for their country . . . as long as they can respawn in five minutes." Amen, brother. At his behest, I purchased some used camouflage from the closest Army Surplus store. I was surprised that they had only one variety, but it was only $15! "Urban Woodland," they called it. "Isn't that . . . sort of a contradiction?" I asked. "No, sir, not at all," they said, as they ushered me quickly towards the door. "You'll be able to hide in trees . . . and in buildings! Besides, its actually harder to see the colour pink than black at night, so you've covered all your bases!" Fair enough, I thought. Versatility is probably a virtue on the battlefield.

It was 9 o'clock as I pulled up to the park where we were playing. "I hope we play until dusk, so I can take advantage of my pink camouflage!" I thought. I parked further away than most of the other cars. I told myself it was because I was a lone wolf. I think it was actually because I wanted to scope out whether anyone else was wearing pink camouflage. They weren't. My guess was that they'd spent more than $15 on their gear. I didn't even spend $15 on my wedding ring. No matter. Raw skill trumps little things like fancy-doodad getups, right? Just ask the Last Samurai! They totally murdered the gatling guns in the end, right? BTW Get Smart was the most amazing movie ever created. Go see it... in theatres now. When I got to the field of battle, some of the guys asked me to wear deer antlers. I was too smart for them. I totally saw right through their scheme. They were trying to get me to mess up my perfectly gelled hair. No way. I proceeded to ask where the boundaries were. Some of the guys laughed and said I wouldn't last that long. Haha. I laughed along with them. Haha. ... I got the feeling I laughed too long. Maybe the joke wasn't that funny. I was nervous. I tried to turn my laugh into a cough. I don't think it worked. Some of the guys started the question me. I panicked and took one of them hostage. When he tried to escape, I shot him. Little did I know, my batteries were dead. My stupid energizer bunny must have not lasted the last hunting season. I have my theories. So, I did the only thing I could think and I laughed some more. They started laughing too.

What the heck am I supposed to do with no batteries? So I thought to myself, what would Chuck Norris do? Then it hit me! Chuck Norris never uses his gun. So, I played with my hands.

The first 3 people couldn't stop starring, enabling me to get close enough to throw a BB at them. Unfortunately, the rest of them caught on. I got hit worse than the energizer bunny. Desperate, I did what any sensable person would do. I called the police and told them two drug deals were going on down by the river and the gangsters were heavily armed. I suggested they shoot first. ... ... They did.

So, anyone want to play airsoft with me? I'm looking for a new group to play with.

(Congradulations to Trevor who finished half of his final post on RFCN -- Bob had to finish the rest-- Somehow I think that'll be the last thing RFCN hears from Trevor.)

The Way It Used To Be

Life used to be so much simpler. My parents always told me I had it good when I was a kid, but I never realized it until now. Think about it…

When you’re a little boy and you see a girl what did you do? Chances are you either ran away, ignored her, or made fun of her. Any of those options sound good today? Young boys don’t have to try to not think about girls all the time, they never do anyway. Now it’s like “not gonna think about girls, not gonna think about girls, not gonnawhoa there’s a hot chick!” No wait, I think I did that when I was seven years old too.

When you’re a little girl all you had to do was hit the boy if he bugged you and it was ok! Parents are all like “What did you do Robbie! You’re grounded.” Now they …. Oh wait, they can still do that.

When you’re a little kid, all you have to do is throw a tantrum long and hard enough and the parents are bound to give in. Now you have to actually…. Oh wait, you can still do that too.

When your young and you want a job, your dad or a close friend would set you up with a little work at his place. Now to get a job, you have to... oh wait, that's still how it works. ... At least for Cody (oO yes I just did that) (Don't blame me! Chris helped right this post too! So it could have been him that said that)


... Maybe things aren't so different.