An Airsofter's Journey: Part the finaliath

The day had finally arrived. My first airsoft war. After carrying my gun around my house for weeks, pretending to be everyone from Jason Bourne to 007 to Rambo to a sniper taking aim at Hillary Clinton, I had finally managed to convince my friend to let me play in one of his airsoft wars. It was going to be an intense experience, I could tell. These were no pansies with peashooters. These were men who took the game seriously. In fact, my friend said I should probably wear camouflage, so as not to ruin the aura that is "Make-Believe War." "Make no mistake," said my friend. "The men who play this game are willing to give their life for their country . . . as long as they can respawn in five minutes." Amen, brother. At his behest, I purchased some used camouflage from the closest Army Surplus store. I was surprised that they had only one variety, but it was only $15! "Urban Woodland," they called it. "Isn't that . . . sort of a contradiction?" I asked. "No, sir, not at all," they said, as they ushered me quickly towards the door. "You'll be able to hide in trees . . . and in buildings! Besides, its actually harder to see the colour pink than black at night, so you've covered all your bases!" Fair enough, I thought. Versatility is probably a virtue on the battlefield.

It was 9 o'clock as I pulled up to the park where we were playing. "I hope we play until dusk, so I can take advantage of my pink camouflage!" I thought. I parked further away than most of the other cars. I told myself it was because I was a lone wolf. I think it was actually because I wanted to scope out whether anyone else was wearing pink camouflage. They weren't. My guess was that they'd spent more than $15 on their gear. I didn't even spend $15 on my wedding ring. No matter. Raw skill trumps little things like fancy-doodad getups, right? Just ask the Last Samurai! They totally murdered the gatling guns in the end, right? BTW Get Smart was the most amazing movie ever created. Go see it... in theatres now. When I got to the field of battle, some of the guys asked me to wear deer antlers. I was too smart for them. I totally saw right through their scheme. They were trying to get me to mess up my perfectly gelled hair. No way. I proceeded to ask where the boundaries were. Some of the guys laughed and said I wouldn't last that long. Haha. I laughed along with them. Haha. ... I got the feeling I laughed too long. Maybe the joke wasn't that funny. I was nervous. I tried to turn my laugh into a cough. I don't think it worked. Some of the guys started the question me. I panicked and took one of them hostage. When he tried to escape, I shot him. Little did I know, my batteries were dead. My stupid energizer bunny must have not lasted the last hunting season. I have my theories. So, I did the only thing I could think and I laughed some more. They started laughing too.

What the heck am I supposed to do with no batteries? So I thought to myself, what would Chuck Norris do? Then it hit me! Chuck Norris never uses his gun. So, I played with my hands.

The first 3 people couldn't stop starring, enabling me to get close enough to throw a BB at them. Unfortunately, the rest of them caught on. I got hit worse than the energizer bunny. Desperate, I did what any sensable person would do. I called the police and told them two drug deals were going on down by the river and the gangsters were heavily armed. I suggested they shoot first. ... ... They did.

So, anyone want to play airsoft with me? I'm looking for a new group to play with.

(Congradulations to Trevor who finished half of his final post on RFCN -- Bob had to finish the rest-- Somehow I think that'll be the last thing RFCN hears from Trevor.)

The Way It Used To Be

Life used to be so much simpler. My parents always told me I had it good when I was a kid, but I never realized it until now. Think about it…

When you’re a little boy and you see a girl what did you do? Chances are you either ran away, ignored her, or made fun of her. Any of those options sound good today? Young boys don’t have to try to not think about girls all the time, they never do anyway. Now it’s like “not gonna think about girls, not gonna think about girls, not gonnawhoa there’s a hot chick!” No wait, I think I did that when I was seven years old too.

When you’re a little girl all you had to do was hit the boy if he bugged you and it was ok! Parents are all like “What did you do Robbie! You’re grounded.” Now they …. Oh wait, they can still do that.

When you’re a little kid, all you have to do is throw a tantrum long and hard enough and the parents are bound to give in. Now you have to actually…. Oh wait, you can still do that too.

When your young and you want a job, your dad or a close friend would set you up with a little work at his place. Now to get a job, you have to... oh wait, that's still how it works. ... At least for Cody (oO yes I just did that) (Don't blame me! Chris helped right this post too! So it could have been him that said that)


... Maybe things aren't so different.

I'm Such a Responsible Student

So, I was at the Ong's house right before a 6am morning flight. I had an online college art class assignment due one of the days I would be gone, so I intended to finish it up early. The assignment is 25 questions long and has an hour time limit. Since I was attempting to do the open book quiz without having pre-read a word of it, I would definitely need all 60 minutes. About 2/3rds of the way through, Mrs Ong announced it was time to go to bed. She was determined to get us in bed and well-rested for nationals. Robert Ong tried to convince her that I was doing something constructive (such as not flunking a college class) but somehow these arguments were all too common to her. A few minutes later she turned off the internet to convince us to go to bed. The result? 10 minutes out of my 60 minutes and a lot of distraction. I did managed to almost finish the quiz. Luckily for me, I get two attempts as long as there is 24 hours in between attempts. I went down while in my hotel in AL to try my second attempt a few minutes before it was due.

Because the Internet was turned off, the quiz was never submitted even though time had expired.

Needless to say, I spent the time I would have spent on the quiz... writing an email to my professor. It was hard for me to tell him what really happened.

Isn't kissing up great?


Mrs Ong still doesn't know that I was really doing an online quiz. I guess I don't have a lot of credibility.

Illegal Immigration: Before and After

People often ask me: "Has debating illegal immigration policy changed your perspective". Yes, but its very hard to describe. I have decided to illustrate it.

Before debating illegal immigration
this...

... was a large group of people, probably ralying against Hilary Clinton

This...

... was an employee getting hired

and this...

...was the sepreation of freedom and poverty

After debating Illegal immigration

1 in 7 people in this picture are illegal immigrants


This...

... is an Illegal Alien getting hired by an unscrupulous employer

and this...

Probably doesn't exsist... Congress defunded the wall.


I wanted to put this to the test. So I got one of those photos. Yes, one of these



Before? I saw darth Vador. Now? I see 4 border patrol sleeping and playing cards in the middle and 3 large swams of illegal aliens running accross the border, while two groups of illegal aliens are using fake I.D.'s to enter the country. The little tiny dot on the bottom right, is an illegal claiming asylum to enter the country illegal. And, the big awkward looking black spot in the middle is Travis' face.


Ignorance is bliss, and I want my ignorance back! What am I supposed to do now? For a year I read qualified people saying Illegal Immigrants walk across our borders and fill our publich schools. They stand in line for welfare and every kid they have along the way is an American citizen thanks to our 14th amendment.

Then one day it hit me. Maybe this means I might actually run into an illegal immigrant someday. A couple months later and having worked at a green house, all I have to say is, I want my ignorance back.

P.S. I'm off to Debate Nationals in Alabama in two days, wish me luck.