RFCN is having a "Most interesting password contest". So, if you think you have a clever password, send it to reallyfunnyclassnotes@gmail.com. The Grand Prize will be announced. All you need to enter the contest is your name, email address, phone number, and SN.
Password requirements are
1 Must be a current password for more then 4 months.
2 Must keep the password for another 4 months.
3 Must be a password that you use more often then any other password.
If you have multiple screen names and passwords... just create a new entry and be sure to let us know specifically what sites these are for so we know you aren't making it up.
Go Go Go!
8/29/07
Steptigo
Space Sickness is caused by flight in space and makes you feel like you are weightless. Sea sickness makes you feel like you are on water when you are not. Giddiness makes you feel like you are falling. Vertigo causes you to lose consciousness of up and down.
Today I’d like to tell you about something I’d like to call Steptigo. Steptigo causes you to lose consciousness of the next step in front of you. Eventually, you will be running completely blind down the steps with no idea how to prepare for the next step you may land on. Steptigo is dangerous especially while sprinting on bleachers. If sprinted fast enough, Steptigo will make it only a matter of time before you clip a step the wrong way and, if you are sprinting, no doubt you will clip a few more steps before you come to a stop (the definition of stop does not include the word landing).
Anyone got any ice?
Today I’d like to tell you about something I’d like to call Steptigo. Steptigo causes you to lose consciousness of the next step in front of you. Eventually, you will be running completely blind down the steps with no idea how to prepare for the next step you may land on. Steptigo is dangerous especially while sprinting on bleachers. If sprinted fast enough, Steptigo will make it only a matter of time before you clip a step the wrong way and, if you are sprinting, no doubt you will clip a few more steps before you come to a stop (the definition of stop does not include the word landing).
Anyone got any ice?
8/27/07
Funny Stories: First day at college
Yesterday was the first day of school, so I thought I'd share with you guys some of the highlights. I used to think nobody actually went to MJC but then I realized it was just a summer thing. Fall MJC is like an umbrella in a tornado
First, we left at 10:47 and it takes 17.5 minutes to get to the east campus. Robert's class starts at 11. Robert complains telling me that I'm gonna have to go real fast on the freeway!"
...1 minute later, we're stopped on the freeway; apparently Monday was massive freeway construction day.
We turned up the stereo to help the pain. Oh yeah! stereo doesn't go that high! We complain about it and decide tomorrow is buy new 400 amp car speakers day.
10:58, drop Robert off at the campus (um no... I didn't speed.) ;-)
I begin searching for parking when it then occurs to me that I can't park anywhere close without a permit but I need to park and get the permit in order to park.
I park in some random neighborhood full of other students in my dilemma. Some guy pulls up beside me and I hear him exclaim !#$% @#&$! I think to myself "yeah dude, welcome to the club" as I walk away.
On campus I run into a sister of a friend, who approaches me and says "hey Robert!" I think of a non-awkward way of breaking it to her by saying "close, you had a 50% shot." She then stands there very, very awkwardly trying to think of my name...
At this point I'm thinking "girl, you making it awkward for all of us." I tell her after a few guesses, and I find an excuse to get to my class a little early. I pass another girl who just calls me "Birlew", because she's man enough to admit she can't remember which one I am. She informs me that my econ teacher was a monotoner.... 10 seconds after I enter the class I find out she was indeed, right.
End of class he reads the roll sheet, and I soon realize that I am the only one in this class that looks like I was born in this country. I mean that respectfully, but dudes... one guy was wearing a bright orange robe. the only normal name was Samuel... "Goonshapa" was his last name. Shaniqua was sitting next to me. That white girl across the row was named "Joon", one guy just straight tells the teacher to call him "Flant" Because the poor guy had no chance at pronouncing his real name.
Speech class was filled with people that should be going to a "people who talk too much in public and need to stop" class. We had to start by standing in front of class and telling everyone our name, (which they teacher uses when she calls us up), personal info, (some of it was way too personal) our career, and "something unique about us that you wouldn't know by just looking".
They very first girl, (who was actually very pleasant to look at) shares that she just turned 18, (I'm thinking "sweet! my age!!") just graduated and married. Yes, that same emotion was going through every one's mind at the same time... WHAT!!!!!!
She explains that "he was really a nice guy, so we got married right after high school (like 2 months)...and then he changed. Don't worry, I filed for divorce already; I'm trying to forget it."
10 seconds of awkward silence... you could tell everyone was trying to figure out how to react. Is she still crying about it? Is she over it? How could she be? Is she even human? Should give her our apologies?
Laughter breaks out, everyone is yelling questions and she got the attention she apparently really wanted.
Next guy is a really tall dude who's wearing a basketball shirt, shorts and Michael Jordon shoes. "I've been playing basketball since I was 3 years old" (Go figure) And I want to play in the NBA! I had a full ride to San Diego. When I was a freshman I was 5-3 and now I'm 6-4. ::starts to sit down:: The teacher exclaims, you forgot the unique part. "Oh! Right. I can post-up like no other and I can dunk a basketball" Someone asks: "you had a full ride? what happened? He responds: I lost it, cause-a grades. Now I wanna get my full ride back. Ima play for the Kings!!"
Random flirty girl gets up and says that she from Turlock where they are hot guys "unlike this place" Random flirt-backer dude exclaims "What!! me. ME!!!" Rob who is next to her: "wow, I see". She responds by saying that he wasn’t her type.
After a couple people, some girl gets up who "also just turned 18" (2 days before the married girl) but she wasn't my type. I could tell this by the fact that she talked at least 14 times the previous people...and never really stopped...
She exclaims that she just moved here and she had her first date last night. "Oh, and actually I just broke up with him 5 minutes before class." "I used the text message tactic" ::all the guys shiver:: "I gave him the whole 'I just want to be friends bit' [2 guys start crying] just like on the movies ::evil snicker::"
"What did he do wrong?" Some (obviously not a player) guy asks. "Well, you know... over dinner he starts talking about his health benefits from his job... and you know... it was scaring me." "What his number?" Some 30 year old desperate girl yells out.
Speech ends after Robert embarrasses Stephanie by telling the teacher that she was an impromptu 3rd place national champion... which of course raises expectations, and certainly didn't gain him any points. :-/
On the far side of the campus I pass a guy that used to go to my youth group, except no one had seen him for a while. "Hhhmm… I should say ‘hi’ to him" I thought to myself. Only problem was he was acting weird standing over by the power produces objects behind the electronics building. I decided that it was better for his personality problems to just nod at him; of course he ignored me.
I'm walking down the path as I'm thinking about his problems. Then it dawned on me: last I heard he threatened to bring a bomb to school at Ripon High because he hated a teacher... I began to walk a lot faster.
I meet up with Robert [apparently no bomb went off] who told me that Polisci is in the same building as history was. I walk in a couple minutes before him and just because I'm not a normal, prideful guy I ask a random girl what class it was as I'm sitting down. She answers that it was sign-language class at the same time another Women answer with fire science. I walk out as they are arguing over which building was which.
I find the class and after some random first-class talk, we began our introductions. Name, career, and what we would do as president. I'm telling you, everyone and their mom answered with health care reform… and the few left said "make college cheaper." I'm thinking "and give me a million bucks too!"
Finally some old lawyer women answers with medical malpractice reform because that's actually what's causing the problems with healthcare prices. ::The few people in the class who had brains began to cheer at this point::
Some girl gets up and leaves realizing that this wasn't the sign language class.
They were quite a few people who should been in the public speaking class. But finally.... the last guy stands up... and informs everyone that he work at the "porn shop". EVERYONE was like "wah? what did he just say?" He exclaims very loudly this time "yeah! I work at the porn shop. It's just down the street."
The teacher [a women] is staring at him at this point. After a few minutes a very awkward laughter she pronounces that this is a first for her class. She then (obviously trying to change the subject) asks what his major is. He answers with video and graphic design. She responds by saying that she should have seen that one coming. ::Everyone nods::
After about 15 minutes of public policy discussion some girl packs up and leaves explaining "I can't take this anymore, it's so boring"
After class Bob and I went to Wendy's to soak in some food and headed home.
This is college eh?
First, we left at 10:47 and it takes 17.5 minutes to get to the east campus. Robert's class starts at 11. Robert complains telling me that I'm gonna have to go real fast on the freeway!"
...1 minute later, we're stopped on the freeway; apparently Monday was massive freeway construction day.
We turned up the stereo to help the pain. Oh yeah! stereo doesn't go that high! We complain about it and decide tomorrow is buy new 400 amp car speakers day.
10:58, drop Robert off at the campus (um no... I didn't speed.) ;-)
I begin searching for parking when it then occurs to me that I can't park anywhere close without a permit but I need to park and get the permit in order to park.
I park in some random neighborhood full of other students in my dilemma. Some guy pulls up beside me and I hear him exclaim !#$% @#&$! I think to myself "yeah dude, welcome to the club" as I walk away.
On campus I run into a sister of a friend, who approaches me and says "hey Robert!" I think of a non-awkward way of breaking it to her by saying "close, you had a 50% shot." She then stands there very, very awkwardly trying to think of my name...
At this point I'm thinking "girl, you making it awkward for all of us." I tell her after a few guesses, and I find an excuse to get to my class a little early. I pass another girl who just calls me "Birlew", because she's man enough to admit she can't remember which one I am. She informs me that my econ teacher was a monotoner.... 10 seconds after I enter the class I find out she was indeed, right.
End of class he reads the roll sheet, and I soon realize that I am the only one in this class that looks like I was born in this country. I mean that respectfully, but dudes... one guy was wearing a bright orange robe. the only normal name was Samuel... "Goonshapa" was his last name. Shaniqua was sitting next to me. That white girl across the row was named "Joon", one guy just straight tells the teacher to call him "Flant" Because the poor guy had no chance at pronouncing his real name.
Speech class was filled with people that should be going to a "people who talk too much in public and need to stop" class. We had to start by standing in front of class and telling everyone our name, (which they teacher uses when she calls us up), personal info, (some of it was way too personal) our career, and "something unique about us that you wouldn't know by just looking".
They very first girl, (who was actually very pleasant to look at) shares that she just turned 18, (I'm thinking "sweet! my age!!") just graduated and married. Yes, that same emotion was going through every one's mind at the same time... WHAT!!!!!!
She explains that "he was really a nice guy, so we got married right after high school (like 2 months)...and then he changed. Don't worry, I filed for divorce already; I'm trying to forget it."
10 seconds of awkward silence... you could tell everyone was trying to figure out how to react. Is she still crying about it? Is she over it? How could she be? Is she even human? Should give her our apologies?
Laughter breaks out, everyone is yelling questions and she got the attention she apparently really wanted.
Next guy is a really tall dude who's wearing a basketball shirt, shorts and Michael Jordon shoes. "I've been playing basketball since I was 3 years old" (Go figure) And I want to play in the NBA! I had a full ride to San Diego. When I was a freshman I was 5-3 and now I'm 6-4. ::starts to sit down:: The teacher exclaims, you forgot the unique part. "Oh! Right. I can post-up like no other and I can dunk a basketball" Someone asks: "you had a full ride? what happened? He responds: I lost it, cause-a grades. Now I wanna get my full ride back. Ima play for the Kings!!"
Random flirty girl gets up and says that she from Turlock where they are hot guys "unlike this place" Random flirt-backer dude exclaims "What!! me. ME!!!" Rob who is next to her: "wow, I see". She responds by saying that he wasn’t her type.
After a couple people, some girl gets up who "also just turned 18" (2 days before the married girl) but she wasn't my type. I could tell this by the fact that she talked at least 14 times the previous people...and never really stopped...
She exclaims that she just moved here and she had her first date last night. "Oh, and actually I just broke up with him 5 minutes before class." "I used the text message tactic" ::all the guys shiver:: "I gave him the whole 'I just want to be friends bit' [2 guys start crying] just like on the movies ::evil snicker::"
"What did he do wrong?" Some (obviously not a player) guy asks. "Well, you know... over dinner he starts talking about his health benefits from his job... and you know... it was scaring me." "What his number?" Some 30 year old desperate girl yells out.
Speech ends after Robert embarrasses Stephanie by telling the teacher that she was an impromptu 3rd place national champion... which of course raises expectations, and certainly didn't gain him any points. :-/
On the far side of the campus I pass a guy that used to go to my youth group, except no one had seen him for a while. "Hhhmm… I should say ‘hi’ to him" I thought to myself. Only problem was he was acting weird standing over by the power produces objects behind the electronics building. I decided that it was better for his personality problems to just nod at him; of course he ignored me.
I'm walking down the path as I'm thinking about his problems. Then it dawned on me: last I heard he threatened to bring a bomb to school at Ripon High because he hated a teacher... I began to walk a lot faster.
I meet up with Robert [apparently no bomb went off] who told me that Polisci is in the same building as history was. I walk in a couple minutes before him and just because I'm not a normal, prideful guy I ask a random girl what class it was as I'm sitting down. She answers that it was sign-language class at the same time another Women answer with fire science. I walk out as they are arguing over which building was which.
I find the class and after some random first-class talk, we began our introductions. Name, career, and what we would do as president. I'm telling you, everyone and their mom answered with health care reform… and the few left said "make college cheaper." I'm thinking "and give me a million bucks too!"
Finally some old lawyer women answers with medical malpractice reform because that's actually what's causing the problems with healthcare prices. ::The few people in the class who had brains began to cheer at this point::
Some girl gets up and leaves realizing that this wasn't the sign language class.
They were quite a few people who should been in the public speaking class. But finally.... the last guy stands up... and informs everyone that he work at the "porn shop". EVERYONE was like "wah? what did he just say?" He exclaims very loudly this time "yeah! I work at the porn shop. It's just down the street."
The teacher [a women] is staring at him at this point. After a few minutes a very awkward laughter she pronounces that this is a first for her class. She then (obviously trying to change the subject) asks what his major is. He answers with video and graphic design. She responds by saying that she should have seen that one coming. ::Everyone nods::
After about 15 minutes of public policy discussion some girl packs up and leaves explaining "I can't take this anymore, it's so boring"
After class Bob and I went to Wendy's to soak in some food and headed home.
This is college eh?
8/24/07
Funny stories: the department of being lame
So, I was fishing with my sister up at the Goodwin Dam area of the Stanislaus river. It's a fly fishing only barbless hooks catch and release protected wild trout stream that I love to fish. Anyways this particular time, I forgot my fishing license. I have never been asked by a game warden of the department of fish and game for a license before so I figured no big deal.
So! I'm fishing upstream of my sister when sure enough, a warden starts walking towards me from further upstream. I figured I was safe because he couldn't get to me. So I yelled over: howdy! He cut through the brush right next to the shoreline next to me. I'm not sure why I was thinking maybe he wouldn't ask for my license, because if you know anything about Game Wardens, that's how they make there money (and they always ask). So I preemptive-ly show him my hooks are barbless and I have kept no fish. Sure enough he asks anyways: can you show me your license?
In a flash I thought:
Run! Wait, I'm in the middle of the water with rapids on either side!
Swim! Wait, I have my wallet on me.
Lie! No wait, that's a federal crime.
So I gave in and said. No, sorry. I may have left it in the car but I don't have it on me. The warden then said: well, what color is the license?
In a flash I thought:
Dang, this question may be worth $600!
Orange or green, orange or green
Um sir, it's orange? or... or green? Orange!
He just continued chewing his gum. You alone? ... No I said, I have my sister with me down stream.
Another flash thought... I remembered Chrissy, an amateur fishermen, had lost her fly and retied another fly on her hook. She had no clue it was supposed to have the barb bent downward with pliers. I knew for a fact that mistake would be worth hundreds of dollars. How could I get to her first?
The warden said we should head on over to her and asked for more specific directions.
Then I caught a break when the warden invited me to go across in the water on the right side of a branched off smaller stream to avoid the thorny vines on his trial on the left side of the stream. I'm like... sure whatever. Then as sure as he was out of site I sprinted in the water towards Chrissy. I got to her yelling, CHRISSY! CUT OFF THE FLY! She's like... uh sure. I explained to her: The warden is coming and you have a barb on your hook! Cut it off and grab the extra rod! I had another rod which she had got stuck on a rock. So she grabbed it just as the warden showed up.
He checked all the hooks and then joked about not being able to check the fly stuck in the water. Chrissy just laughed at him.
So! He checked her license and then showed me it was green not orange. I'm like, yeah great.
But he let me off because I was a minor. I don't really think he believed me about ever having a license.
Who needs the department of fish and game anyways?
So! I'm fishing upstream of my sister when sure enough, a warden starts walking towards me from further upstream. I figured I was safe because he couldn't get to me. So I yelled over: howdy! He cut through the brush right next to the shoreline next to me. I'm not sure why I was thinking maybe he wouldn't ask for my license, because if you know anything about Game Wardens, that's how they make there money (and they always ask). So I preemptive-ly show him my hooks are barbless and I have kept no fish. Sure enough he asks anyways: can you show me your license?
In a flash I thought:
Run! Wait, I'm in the middle of the water with rapids on either side!
Swim! Wait, I have my wallet on me.
Lie! No wait, that's a federal crime.
So I gave in and said. No, sorry. I may have left it in the car but I don't have it on me. The warden then said: well, what color is the license?
In a flash I thought:
Dang, this question may be worth $600!
Orange or green, orange or green
Um sir, it's orange? or... or green? Orange!
He just continued chewing his gum. You alone? ... No I said, I have my sister with me down stream.
Another flash thought... I remembered Chrissy, an amateur fishermen, had lost her fly and retied another fly on her hook. She had no clue it was supposed to have the barb bent downward with pliers. I knew for a fact that mistake would be worth hundreds of dollars. How could I get to her first?
The warden said we should head on over to her and asked for more specific directions.
Then I caught a break when the warden invited me to go across in the water on the right side of a branched off smaller stream to avoid the thorny vines on his trial on the left side of the stream. I'm like... sure whatever. Then as sure as he was out of site I sprinted in the water towards Chrissy. I got to her yelling, CHRISSY! CUT OFF THE FLY!
He checked all the hooks and then joked about not being able to check the fly stuck in the water. Chrissy just laughed at him.
So! He checked her license and then showed me it was green not orange. I'm like, yeah great.
But he let me off because I was a minor. I don't really think he believed me about ever having a license.
Who needs the department of fish and game anyways?
Yup
I know I don't normally do apologies... and I know everyone hates the entire site anyways... Buuuuut honestly the last two posts were 1 because we were really short on time and 2... FCN knows about the last post... it wasnt' supposed to be funny at all... just something we had to do... So bare with us if you will...
8/23/07
hey Gramps...
10 Things I want to do when I become a grandpa.
I was thinking about this the other day. I used to think I wanted to die around the age of 40 just because it's so much more fun to die young .. that way you can actually die doing something spectacular as opposed to die walking around the house with a walker ... but now I think it actually might be worth the effort to become a grandpa.
So I made a list of things I wanna do when I become a grandpa
1 Walk around without my dentures
2 Act def for an entire day starting from when I wake up
3 Wear in a Speedo on the beach
4 Grow the biggest pot belly ever seen by mankind
5 Go shirtless for a whole month
6 Turn off my hearing aid on my wife/kids/grandkids
7 Get one of those mobile scooter things and run people off the road
8 Act like I have dementia and forget the grandkids names
9 Grow a cave man beard all the way to my chest
10 Die
Yeah, I'd be pretty much the best grandpa ever... Come to think of it... I could start on some of these things right now!
I was thinking about this the other day. I used to think I wanted to die around the age of 40 just because it's so much more fun to die young .. that way you can actually die doing something spectacular as opposed to die walking around the house with a walker ... but now I think it actually might be worth the effort to become a grandpa.
So I made a list of things I wanna do when I become a grandpa
1 Walk around without my dentures
2 Act def for an entire day starting from when I wake up
3 Wear in a Speedo on the beach
4 Grow the biggest pot belly ever seen by mankind
5 Go shirtless for a whole month
6 Turn off my hearing aid on my wife/kids/grandkids
7 Get one of those mobile scooter things and run people off the road
8 Act like I have dementia and forget the grandkids names
9 Grow a cave man beard all the way to my chest
10 Die
Yeah, I'd be pretty much the best grandpa ever... Come to think of it... I could start on some of these things right now!
8/18/07
Weddings
Weddings are my favorite…
… Favorite thing to make fun of that is…
For a guy, a wedding is the final formality of the arrangements needed before he gets what he wants; he just wants the girl. For a girl …
…
… that reminds me, I have no idea what a wedding means to a girl… but from what I think I see… It’s the day after she plans a year with weeks of stressing out which leads up to the worst 24 hours of her life just for one moment where she romantically rides off into the sunset with a prince. (not the realprincecharming… that’s the opposite of what girls want to ride off with)
The one thing that gets me every time, is the fact that girls spend months to years planning to make a wedding special and unique, and it always ends up the same thing as the last wedding.
Yes so I came up with a list of things that seem funny to me at weddings…
1. Pastors giving sermons on how “one day he will be hard to get alone with”. If they haven’t had a fight yet… a sermon on their WEDDING day isn’t going to help them get over it. Who even listens to the pastor anyways? Everyone is just watching the bride and groom whisper at each other and make stupid faces at each other
2. Love! Why do they act like it’s the beginning of loving each other? If you don’t love each other already I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be getting married. Let’s be realistic here, there is only one thing you have to wait until marriage to do.
3. The groom has to walk done the aisle 5-10 times but the bride only walks done the aisle once. Who wants to see the groom 10 times? Everyone just wants to see the bride!
4. The brides always wear white! Doesn’t white get old? It seems unfair, its total peer pressure for a girl to have to wear white. Honestly, what if the girl didn’t look good in white? Now, because everyone wears white, she has to go with her 2nd best.
According to our comparison, some girls look fatter in white.
But we all know why the girls plan the wedding. For one, they pay for it. But perhaps it's because if I (or another guy) planned a wedding it would look like this:
I'm actually working on planning my own wedding... It's going to be an all black wedding... the clothing that is. We'll go with a 2 minute sermon... we'll just skip to the i do... go for the kiss and run down the aisle. We'll stay for just enough time to eat a feast and then I'll be gone! Honeymoon=first priority.
I haven't told the woman yet so... we'll see how it goes. If anyone asks... this post was by one of the other two guys...
… Favorite thing to make fun of that is…
For a guy, a wedding is the final formality of the arrangements needed before he gets what he wants; he just wants the girl. For a girl …
…
…
The one thing that gets me every time, is the fact that girls spend months to years planning to make a wedding special and unique, and it always ends up the same thing as the last wedding.
Yes so I came up with a list of things that seem funny to me at weddings…
1. Pastors giving sermons on how “one day he will be hard to get alone with”. If they haven’t had a fight yet… a sermon on their WEDDING day isn’t going to help them get over it. Who even listens to the pastor anyways? Everyone is just watching the bride and groom whisper at each other and make stupid faces at each other
2. Love! Why do they act like it’s the beginning of loving each other? If you don’t love each other already I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be getting married. Let’s be realistic here, there is only one thing you have to wait until marriage to do.
3. The groom has to walk done the aisle 5-10 times but the bride only walks done the aisle once. Who wants to see the groom 10 times? Everyone just wants to see the bride!
4. The brides always wear white! Doesn’t white get old? It seems unfair, its total peer pressure for a girl to have to wear white. Honestly, what if the girl didn’t look good in white? Now, because everyone wears white, she has to go with her 2nd best.
According to our comparison, some girls look fatter in white.
But we all know why the girls plan the wedding. For one, they pay for it. But perhaps it's because if I (or another guy) planned a wedding it would look like this:
I'm actually working on planning my own wedding... It's going to be an all black wedding... the clothing that is. We'll go with a 2 minute sermon... we'll just skip to the i do... go for the kiss and run down the aisle. We'll stay for just enough time to eat a feast and then I'll be gone! Honeymoon=first priority.
I haven't told the woman yet so... we'll see how it goes. If anyone asks... this post was by one of the other two guys...
8/16/07
Nerdville
Do you ever look back at something you did and wonder "what was I thinking?"? (I know right now you're probably saying "some of us more then others...") but you know what? I am ready to admit that I was a nerdy little kid. So ready in fact, that I am going to share with you a brief jiffy in my childhood. You may commit to memory that random picture in our insects posts of a guy holding a fly swat in mid air... well… that was me, and here is the whole series of self portraits:
8/11/07
News Flash
In the news... here are some interesting articles
What is the fastest way to make the situation in Iraq worse? Use the UN.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07223/808703-82.stm
Did you know, the Dust Clouds in the Sahara have a direct link to the hurricane patterns in the Atlantic?
http://www.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUSN0920911120070809
I always new there was something wrong with fords, just, I never knew it was the cruise control bottom that was randomly starting fires and the cause of a huge recall of ford vehicles.
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/08/03/ap3987232.html
Apparently the Iphone is not just easy access for it's owner...
http://www.forbes.com/security/2007/08/04/iphone-apple-mac-tech-cx_ag_0804miller.html
HAhahahahaha is this why Bill was having an affair?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/08/11/wuselec111.xml
What is the fastest way to make the situation in Iraq worse? Use the UN.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07223/808703-82.stm
Did you know, the Dust Clouds in the Sahara have a direct link to the hurricane patterns in the Atlantic?
http://www.reuters.com/article/scienceNews/idUSN0920911120070809
I always new there was something wrong with fords, just, I never knew it was the cruise control bottom that was randomly starting fires and the cause of a huge recall of ford vehicles.
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/08/03/ap3987232.html
Apparently the Iphone is not just easy access for it's owner...
http://www.forbes.com/security/2007/08/04/iphone-apple-mac-tech-cx_ag_0804miller.html
HAhahahahaha is this why Bill was having an affair?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/08/11/wuselec111.xml
8/10/07
Funny stories: Da Momma's boy
So the other day, Rich and I are sitting at a stop sign when I hear something in the car next to me. I look over at this white Chevy pickup with a gangster looking fella in his 20's to find him talking to himself. It looked as though he was rehearsing a speech but it's possible he had an ear piece in the opposite ear. Either way I heard him say the following:
"Mom, Mom, Listen. I'm just trying to say, I can't do this. I can't go on living the rest of my life with a girl I don't even know"
We starting busting up laughing... I think he heard us so Rich hit the gas... lol
"Mom, Mom, Listen. I'm just trying to say, I can't do this. I can't go on living the rest of my life with a girl I don't even know"
We starting busting up laughing... I think he heard us so Rich hit the gas... lol
8/8/07
Computers are soo smart...
The following are the responses I got from a hosting account form while registering a domain name.
"You entered two different passwords."
"Your password must contain 7 to 14 characters."
"Your password must contain at least one lowercase letter."
"Your password must contain at least one uppercase letter."
"Your password must begin with a letter."
"Your password must contain a number"
"Your password may not contain your username"
"Your password can not contain any of the following characters: question mark, space, caret, single quote, double quote, colon, backslashes, dollar sign, ampersand, greater than, less than, tilde, semi-colon, accent."
My frustration went from annoyance to anger to boredom and then it turned into humor. So I wrote them down for your enjoyment.
"You entered two different passwords."
"Your password must contain 7 to 14 characters."
"Your password must contain at least one lowercase letter."
"Your password must contain at least one uppercase letter."
"Your password must begin with a letter."
"Your password must contain a number"
"Your password may not contain your username"
"Your password can not contain any of the following characters: question mark, space, caret, single quote, double quote, colon, backslashes, dollar sign, ampersand, greater than, less than, tilde, semi-colon, accent."
My frustration went from annoyance to anger to boredom and then it turned into humor. So I wrote them down for your enjoyment.
8/3/07
My lynx effect
I gave in. I succumbed to the temptation, inhaled the ambition, submitted to the attraction, appeased the enticement, agreed to the provocation, relinquished the hankering and buckled to the bait. Yeah… all that. I was so strong before, but the lies -on the commercials- were so luring. I kept telling myself: "you know the commercial has… paid girls acting like they are madly attracted to a scent…" But could you blame me? I just had to find out for myself.
I wear axe.
Supposedly axe has a natural attraction formula that really causes a reaction by the opposite sex. It’s called, Axe effect or Lynx effect. On the commercials women will run for miles –even swim through the ocean or run through a jungle- to get to the scent.
I have all of the regular flavors: Apollo, Clix, Essence, Groove, Kilo, Marine, Musk, Orion, Phoenix, Pulse, Touch, Tsunami, Unlimited, Voodoo, and I have 4 out of the 6 limited addition scents… Below-0, Boost, Ready, Recovery, Relapse, and Willing.
I received the body wash for Christmas and I use the shampoo too. I have the regular size, travel size and mega big. I even have the computer game!
“Axe released an online game for PC called Mojo Master to promote their products. The game has the player trying to seduce digital women using Axe products to help them out.”
OK… so I just gotta know… did anyone feel any strange attraction force going through the air today? If you did, don’t worry, it was just me and my axe.
I wear axe.
Supposedly axe has a natural attraction formula that really causes a reaction by the opposite sex. It’s called, Axe effect or Lynx effect. On the commercials women will run for miles –even swim through the ocean or run through a jungle- to get to the scent.
I have all of the regular flavors: Apollo, Clix, Essence, Groove, Kilo, Marine, Musk, Orion, Phoenix, Pulse, Touch, Tsunami, Unlimited, Voodoo, and I have 4 out of the 6 limited addition scents… Below-0, Boost, Ready, Recovery, Relapse, and Willing.
I received the body wash for Christmas and I use the shampoo too. I have the regular size, travel size and mega big. I even have the computer game!
“Axe released an online game for PC called Mojo Master to promote their products. The game has the player trying to seduce digital women using Axe products to help them out.”
OK… so I just gotta know… did anyone feel any strange attraction force going through the air today? If you did, don’t worry, it was just me and my axe.
8/2/07
Shrek
Well... this summer Rich, the Weakleys, Sam Yoeman and I were at the weakleys house.... kinda bored... so we bought some fire works
Shrek never had a chance...
(ps Rob said omgosh... not oh my g... we dont' cuss like that.)
Shrek never had a chance...
(ps Rob said omgosh... not oh my g... we dont' cuss like that.)
8/1/07
Steroids.
Barry bonds (AKA the steroid man, AKA big league cheater, AKA the guy who is close to making a new record for most home runs) has been accused of taking steroids to cheat while making a new record for most home runs.
This is no surprise to us at RFCN, Robert had a similar experience during his extremely brief wrestling carrier. Except…Robert was taking weight loss drugs in combination with steroids, which turned out to be 93.46% counterproductive. The number 93.46% basically means that Robert lost small amounts of his already small muscle mass and was ejected from the JKUWC - Junior Kiddie Ultimate Wrestling Championships. Robert then took a turn for the better and started home school debate, where there is no penalty for counterproductive muscle mass loss.
A very comparable thing happened to Michael Jackson. Mike was kicked out of the US for hanging babies over the balconies of hotels. Actually he wasn’t kicked out, he left. And it wasn’t for hanging babies over balconies of hotels. His press agent never told us why he actually left during our interview yesterday:
RFCN: “So Mr. press agent, did Mr. Jackson leave the country because he decided he hates president Bush?”
Press Agent: “I can assure you that Mr. Jackson didn’t leave the country because of the highly publicized court case between he and the molested children.”
RFCN: …alright…so did he leave the country because he disagrees with the Iraq War?”
PA: “Absolutely Mr. Jackson didn’t feel pressured by the news corporations to leave due to the multiple scandals that occurred at his Neverland Ranch.”
RFCN: “Well why did Mr. Jackson leave the US?”
::PA’s cell phone rings to the tune of Smooth Criminal::
PA: “Excuse me for just a moment”…talks on phone…”The United States has just declared war on Dubai because spy satellites have apparently spotted WMDs, I need to catch a plane back to Mr. Jackson’s palace immediately!”
RFCN: “Well it was nice talking to you. We are looking forward to seeing you here again so we can actually get some answers from you.”
In conclusion, we at RFCN agree that Bonds is definitely on track to break the home run record whether or not he leaves the country.
This is no surprise to us at RFCN, Robert had a similar experience during his extremely brief wrestling carrier. Except…Robert was taking weight loss drugs in combination with steroids, which turned out to be 93.46% counterproductive. The number 93.46% basically means that Robert lost small amounts of his already small muscle mass and was ejected from the JKUWC - Junior Kiddie Ultimate Wrestling Championships. Robert then took a turn for the better and started home school debate, where there is no penalty for counterproductive muscle mass loss.
A very comparable thing happened to Michael Jackson. Mike was kicked out of the US for hanging babies over the balconies of hotels. Actually he wasn’t kicked out, he left. And it wasn’t for hanging babies over balconies of hotels. His press agent never told us why he actually left during our interview yesterday:
RFCN: “So Mr. press agent, did Mr. Jackson leave the country because he decided he hates president Bush?”
Press Agent: “I can assure you that Mr. Jackson didn’t leave the country because of the highly publicized court case between he and the molested children.”
RFCN: …alright…so did he leave the country because he disagrees with the Iraq War?”
PA: “Absolutely Mr. Jackson didn’t feel pressured by the news corporations to leave due to the multiple scandals that occurred at his Neverland Ranch.”
RFCN: “Well why did Mr. Jackson leave the US?”
::PA’s cell phone rings to the tune of Smooth Criminal::
PA: “Excuse me for just a moment”…talks on phone…”The United States has just declared war on Dubai because spy satellites have apparently spotted WMDs, I need to catch a plane back to Mr. Jackson’s palace immediately!”
RFCN: “Well it was nice talking to you. We are looking forward to seeing you here again so we can actually get some answers from you.”
In conclusion, we at RFCN agree that Bonds is definitely on track to break the home run record whether or not he leaves the country.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)