So, I was walking out of the garage and I ran into my mom. I said "excuse me" and quickly grabbed a towel in the kitchen. She replied as she turned around and followed me: "Do you want to give me that?" "This?", I replied, pointing to the towel. "You aren't my first kid, you know. Why don't you hand me the ice cream bar?" "Dang it"
Little did she know she isn't my first parent. Ok so maybe she is, but I had already eaten one in the garage and I had one in my pocket as well as my sock. Yep, can't pull one on me. I purposely wanted her to catch me with the one in my hand while pretending to be mad. I'm so smart.
This is all part of my larger plan to take over the world. You are falling right into it.
4/27/08
Poker: Just One More Hand
If any of you have facebook, you'd know about the applications and different game options. One of the game options is of course, Poker! Its really quite a blast because you can play against friends and all that jazz. I don't play any video games on my own, so I found it to be a very enjoyable break from the usual routine. And by break, of course I mean add it on to my late night festivities because I never have time for a break. Poker on facebook works like this. They give you a few chips to start with and you try to earn more. You can earn a couple thousand chips for inviting people and even more when people accept the application on their facebook. Unfortunately I joined the application so late that the only people left to invite that hadn't already accepted it were three homeschool mothers. That just wasn't going to happen.
So I started poker with 1 hundred chips, and within 3 days, I had nearly 10,000. Day 4? 13,489 chips, all aquired in a few hours total. I quickly developed a working strategy. It went like this: when you have a top 4 hand, you go all out. This doesn't necessarily mean "all in" because you want to suck as many chips from the other players as possible. If they raise, you raise as much as you can. Now begins my demise. As I went on, I got a little more big headed. And by this I mean, I was ridiculously good and unstoppable. I joined a few high stake games and gain a lot more chips. This one game, day 6 of my poker experience, I decided I would join the game with 70% of my chips. I wasn't going to be "stupid", I was just going to wait until I had a great hand, slowly suck some of the high chip holders into the pot, and then force them to defend the chips.
I got the perfect hand; King and Jack, suited in hearts. First three cards were all hearts and all the cards were low enough to make a flush the highest possible hand. I went all in. So did this another player. Perfect right?
Ace and 3 suited in hearts...
The one card that could win was an Ace making it the highest possible hand. What are the odds?
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't bet any money. I only played poker for 6 days, and it still ruined my life.
Poker sucks.
So I started poker with 1 hundred chips, and within 3 days, I had nearly 10,000. Day 4? 13,489 chips, all aquired in a few hours total. I quickly developed a working strategy. It went like this: when you have a top 4 hand, you go all out. This doesn't necessarily mean "all in" because you want to suck as many chips from the other players as possible. If they raise, you raise as much as you can. Now begins my demise. As I went on, I got a little more big headed. And by this I mean, I was ridiculously good and unstoppable. I joined a few high stake games and gain a lot more chips. This one game, day 6 of my poker experience, I decided I would join the game with 70% of my chips. I wasn't going to be "stupid", I was just going to wait until I had a great hand, slowly suck some of the high chip holders into the pot, and then force them to defend the chips.
I got the perfect hand; King and Jack, suited in hearts. First three cards were all hearts and all the cards were low enough to make a flush the highest possible hand. I went all in. So did this another player. Perfect right?
Ace and 3 suited in hearts...
The one card that could win was an Ace making it the highest possible hand. What are the odds?
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't bet any money. I only played poker for 6 days, and it still ruined my life.
Poker sucks.
4/23/08
Food discovery
I was staying up late one night and I was eating pringles. I lost track of a BBQ pringle in my hand and it ended up in my orange juice. Then it hit me, this is how great food is discovered! On accident! Right? So I ate the pringle.
Let it be known: pringles in orange juice taste like crap.
Let it be known: pringles in orange juice taste like crap.
4/17/08
The Ugliest Cars the World has Seen
That's right. We went there. Here are the ugliest cars we've ever seen.
AMC Gremlin
It's weak, it's ugly, and it doesn't look finished. I mean seriously, where is the second half of the car? Looks like someone just forgot to add it, to all of them. It was introduced on April 1st, 1970. Nuf' said.
Pontiac Aztec
Wow. There is just no excuse for an SUV this ugly. I haven't seen one of these in at least a year, I think the picture explains that.
Ford Pinto
If looks could kill, you'd be driving a Ford Pinto. Yeah, you knew it'd be on here somewhere. This little car is hard to look at, and if you get rear ended it blows up too. It's like an imitation Gremlin, but scarier.
Yugo
Even the owners wouldn't own up to it. Apparently explosive cars were important 40 something years ago. This car, like the Pinto, had problems with exploding, namely: it did. On top of that, it just doesn't look to appealing. On the plus side, if you dion't like the way it looks new, you don't have to worry, it'll look different by the time you get it home. The Yugo was a car that fell apart as you drove.
1998 Fiat Multipla
You've probably never seen one of these before, and you're probably glad. This thing is beyond ugly. In fact, I might even own an Aztec over this thing. Eww.
AMC Pacer
It seems the Gremlin wasn't ugly enough. AMC out did themselves this time. There are so many great descriptions of this car I think I'll let other people do the talking. One commentator called it "a pregnant roller skate," another said "Not only UGLY but two different-sized front doors!" In summation, "Six feet long, eight feet wide, bicycle tires all around, and 0 to 60 in four-and-a-half hours. What a prize! AMC's only conceivable excuse for this engineering and stylistic horror would be if their 1970s design crew was tripping on massive quantities of acid...and even then...it wouldn't be a good excuse." What is there left to say?
1933 Fuller Dymaxion
Never heard of it? Neither had I. Can't say I was missing much. Where do you start on a "car" like this? Time magazine described the inventor as "one of the century's great nutjobs, a walking unorthodoxy." That should help you understand this vehicle. I just have to explain this thing, it's a great story. This wacko wanted this thing to be a drivable plane. He wanted to put inflatable wings on it. Obviously that didn't work out. So what we are left with is a cockpit that is steered by the single rear wheel. That's right, only three wheels. That single rear wheel, that was soley responsible for the direction you went, "had a wicked death wobble."
1958 Zunndapp Janus
This thing just scares the crap out of me. It was powered with a 14 horsepower engine. I think my lawnmower has more power... You know how we joke about a car going 0-60 in like 3 hours? This thing couldn't even hit 60. 50 was it's limit. Who would drive something like that? Still trying to figure out which side is the front? So am I. Looking inside doesn't really help. The Janus had a rear facing bench for the back seat, that way you could watch death approach.
Well, I could keep going for days. This list is anything but exhastive. But let's just leave it there for now. Until next time, enjoy the car you are fortunate enough to not have to drive.
AMC Gremlin
It's weak, it's ugly, and it doesn't look finished. I mean seriously, where is the second half of the car? Looks like someone just forgot to add it, to all of them. It was introduced on April 1st, 1970. Nuf' said.
Pontiac Aztec
Wow. There is just no excuse for an SUV this ugly. I haven't seen one of these in at least a year, I think the picture explains that.
Ford Pinto
If looks could kill, you'd be driving a Ford Pinto. Yeah, you knew it'd be on here somewhere. This little car is hard to look at, and if you get rear ended it blows up too. It's like an imitation Gremlin, but scarier.
Yugo
Even the owners wouldn't own up to it. Apparently explosive cars were important 40 something years ago. This car, like the Pinto, had problems with exploding, namely: it did. On top of that, it just doesn't look to appealing. On the plus side, if you dion't like the way it looks new, you don't have to worry, it'll look different by the time you get it home. The Yugo was a car that fell apart as you drove.
1998 Fiat Multipla
You've probably never seen one of these before, and you're probably glad. This thing is beyond ugly. In fact, I might even own an Aztec over this thing. Eww.
AMC Pacer
It seems the Gremlin wasn't ugly enough. AMC out did themselves this time. There are so many great descriptions of this car I think I'll let other people do the talking. One commentator called it "a pregnant roller skate," another said "Not only UGLY but two different-sized front doors!" In summation, "Six feet long, eight feet wide, bicycle tires all around, and 0 to 60 in four-and-a-half hours. What a prize! AMC's only conceivable excuse for this engineering and stylistic horror would be if their 1970s design crew was tripping on massive quantities of acid...and even then...it wouldn't be a good excuse." What is there left to say?
1933 Fuller Dymaxion
Never heard of it? Neither had I. Can't say I was missing much. Where do you start on a "car" like this? Time magazine described the inventor as "one of the century's great nutjobs, a walking unorthodoxy." That should help you understand this vehicle. I just have to explain this thing, it's a great story. This wacko wanted this thing to be a drivable plane. He wanted to put inflatable wings on it. Obviously that didn't work out. So what we are left with is a cockpit that is steered by the single rear wheel. That's right, only three wheels. That single rear wheel, that was soley responsible for the direction you went, "had a wicked death wobble."
1958 Zunndapp Janus
This thing just scares the crap out of me. It was powered with a 14 horsepower engine. I think my lawnmower has more power... You know how we joke about a car going 0-60 in like 3 hours? This thing couldn't even hit 60. 50 was it's limit. Who would drive something like that? Still trying to figure out which side is the front? So am I. Looking inside doesn't really help. The Janus had a rear facing bench for the back seat, that way you could watch death approach.
Well, I could keep going for days. This list is anything but exhastive. But let's just leave it there for now. Until next time, enjoy the car you are fortunate enough to not have to drive.
4/15/08
The age of taxablelization
"Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow"
April 15. Screams that can be heard around the globe. Arguably the most hated day in the United States along with Gay awareness (rights) day, valentines day and everyday FCN posts... It's the day that most Americans realize they really are procrastinators. Most Americans also realize maybe they should have taken that math class or tax class in college, or paid a little more attention in high school. Tax assistants and accountants make thousands of dollars off of people who feel uncomfortable lying for themselves.
"65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women." --Jay Leno
We've all heard the horrors of the 16th amendment day. But there comes an age in everyone's life, where they realize the 16th amendment actually applies to them. This was me a year ago. One of the killer things about working as an independent contractor, is your duty to withhold income taxes from your own pay checks. It's even more fun when you forget, and realize you have to pay 500 dollars of money you spent.
'Death: "to stop paying taxes suddenly."'
Few things in this world can be as painful as withholding your own income taxes. I've heard that having your bladder freeze and explode comes close. Sure I have heard of income taxes, and people complaining, and people going to jail, and people screaming about April 15th, but I think a part of me continued to believe "it won't happen to me". Sure I sang the Reliant K song "Death and Taxes" and I've heard all the funny quotes, but it just wasn't going to happen to me.
It happened.
How can the government do this to me! Don't they realize I need the money! Besides, they are just going to go waste it on things like... oh wow, 2 million things just came to mind. What about me? I need carls jr. But the way I get through it, is by thinking of the bright side. For one, the government spends more money than we pay in taxes. That's nice of them isn't it? And also, we must consider that the government is using the money for our interests. Take for example Iraq... ... wait, What are my interests in Iraq? ... ok bad example. But there are others! For example, the government uses our tax dollars to:
Research on the sex lives of squirrels
Determine if shyness in monkey children can lead to depression later in life
Determine how pigeons learn, and what they are thinking
Let me get this straight: I gave up Carls Jr so some squirrel can have two kids, and a monkey won't be depressed.
I feel like a better person now. Just don't ask me how I feel about those other things government spends my money on.
And all that for a law that never was.
I heard the government doesn't tax the rich. So I think I'll be rich so I can have more money. Then, I'll hire 20 of the best tax accountants in the world to find a way by which the rich people can pay taxes. Then, I'll pay taxes just to spite the IRS.
No wait, they'll probably keep my money and then send me to jail for paying taxes when I shouldn't have.
I think I'll settle for sending in this letter...
April 15. Screams that can be heard around the globe. Arguably the most hated day in the United States along with Gay awareness (rights) day, valentines day and everyday FCN posts... It's the day that most Americans realize they really are procrastinators. Most Americans also realize maybe they should have taken that math class or tax class in college, or paid a little more attention in high school. Tax assistants and accountants make thousands of dollars off of people who feel uncomfortable lying for themselves.
"65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women." --Jay Leno
We've all heard the horrors of the 16th amendment day. But there comes an age in everyone's life, where they realize the 16th amendment actually applies to them. This was me a year ago. One of the killer things about working as an independent contractor, is your duty to withhold income taxes from your own pay checks. It's even more fun when you forget, and realize you have to pay 500 dollars of money you spent.
'Death: "to stop paying taxes suddenly."'
Few things in this world can be as painful as withholding your own income taxes. I've heard that having your bladder freeze and explode comes close. Sure I have heard of income taxes, and people complaining, and people going to jail, and people screaming about April 15th, but I think a part of me continued to believe "it won't happen to me". Sure I sang the Reliant K song "Death and Taxes" and I've heard all the funny quotes, but it just wasn't going to happen to me.
It happened.
How can the government do this to me! Don't they realize I need the money! Besides, they are just going to go waste it on things like... oh wow, 2 million things just came to mind. What about me? I need carls jr. But the way I get through it, is by thinking of the bright side. For one, the government spends more money than we pay in taxes. That's nice of them isn't it? And also, we must consider that the government is using the money for our interests. Take for example Iraq... ... wait, What are my interests in Iraq? ... ok bad example. But there are others! For example, the government uses our tax dollars to:
Research on the sex lives of squirrels
Determine if shyness in monkey children can lead to depression later in life
Determine how pigeons learn, and what they are thinking
Let me get this straight: I gave up Carls Jr so some squirrel can have two kids, and a monkey won't be depressed.
I feel like a better person now. Just don't ask me how I feel about those other things government spends my money on.
And all that for a law that never was.
I heard the government doesn't tax the rich. So I think I'll be rich so I can have more money. Then, I'll hire 20 of the best tax accountants in the world to find a way by which the rich people can pay taxes. Then, I'll pay taxes just to spite the IRS.
No wait, they'll probably keep my money and then send me to jail for paying taxes when I shouldn't have.
I think I'll settle for sending in this letter...
Dear IRS:
Enclosed is my 1997 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029).
This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the 'Presidential Election Fund', as noted on my return.
Thanks, Robert
4/14/08
The 8 stages of manhood
First stage: Dada? What you doing to your face?
Second stage: Dad? Can I shave too?
Third stage: I shave everyday. Sometimes I need to shave twice a day. In fact, I think I need to shave right now.
Fourth stage: I think I can get away with another day...
Fifth stage: Mom, I'm growing a beard.
Sixth stage: I shave at 6:13 a.m. every morning right before I go to work. This way I won't need to shave until I'm in bed at 8:56 p.m. and I can hold off until 6:13 the next day.
Seventh stage: I start everyday with a clean face and end the day with a beard. As long as I dont' see the same people twice in one day, no one ever knows.
Eigth state: My kid wants to shave, how do I tell him it's not worth it?
Second stage: Dad? Can I shave too?
Third stage: I shave everyday. Sometimes I need to shave twice a day. In fact, I think I need to shave right now.
Fourth stage: I think I can get away with another day...
Fifth stage: Mom, I'm growing a beard.
Sixth stage: I shave at 6:13 a.m. every morning right before I go to work. This way I won't need to shave until I'm in bed at 8:56 p.m. and I can hold off until 6:13 the next day.
Seventh stage: I start everyday with a clean face and end the day with a beard. As long as I dont' see the same people twice in one day, no one ever knows.
Eigth state: My kid wants to shave, how do I tell him it's not worth it?
4/9/08
Carrie me away
I have to apologize to my friend Bob. Bob told me Carrie Underwood was extremely hot. I didn't believe him. Then I saw a picture of her. Bob was right.
Carrie Underwood, I know you probably read my famous humor blog. If you are out there, I just want to say, we could make this work! Unlikely love stories happen everyday. Fairy tales come true! They have to, because I'm in love with you.
Please, just hear me out.
You're rich and famous... I am an author on the popular blog RFCN...
You're extremely talented... I like girls who are extremely talented...
You're extremely hot... I like hot girls...
You dont' like girls... I dont' like guys...
We have everything in common. We dont' have to talk about this, let's just get married.
I could live in your rich mansion and I'm sure you make enough to get me through college and have a few parties along the way.
Please? Pretty please? Just this once?
Carrie Underwood, I know you probably read my famous humor blog. If you are out there, I just want to say, we could make this work! Unlikely love stories happen everyday. Fairy tales come true! They have to, because I'm in love with you.
Please, just hear me out.
You're rich and famous... I am an author on the popular blog RFCN...
You're extremely talented... I like girls who are extremely talented...
You're extremely hot... I like hot girls...
You dont' like girls... I dont' like guys...
We have everything in common. We dont' have to talk about this, let's just get married.
I could live in your rich mansion and I'm sure you make enough to get me through college and have a few parties along the way.
Please? Pretty please? Just this once?
4/7/08
How to rip off ronald
Below are 11 ways that make "TINSTAAFL" seem as if it simply isn't true. Now, it should be understood that these are not things that we have tried ourselves or recommend for you to try, but merely ways that we would do it-- if we were to do it.
1. "I forgot my money"
3 step process:
order your food, forget your money, act sorry at the window. Works every time.
2. "1 large frite"
2 step process:
Order a large sprite, at the window ask "where's my large fry". Act very, very mad.
TIP: Make sure they serve sprite; bring money just in case.
3. "I have a buy one get one free coupon"
When ordering, tell them you have a buy one get one free coupon. 11 times in a row and counting, they forgot to ask for it. I have yet to do it on purpose, but I did start keeping track of how many times we both forgot.
TIP: you may think that this is a lame number 3 suggestion, but in reality... this is probably the only one that will actually work, and you don't end up in jail. Keep that in mind before you try anything stupid.
4. "You forgot my burger dude"
It's the oldest one in the book, "I was here earlier and you didn't give me my Big Mac". Be advised, that this one takes more work at In and Out. They will actually check their records to see if you ordered it. So, order a lot of stuff and say it fast. It's all in the wording, you didn't give me the burger I ordered... (not that I paid for it). At McDonalds... you're good to go, just be sure that they didn't actually forget your burger because chances are they did.
TIP: Where a suit or bring an adult. No more then 2 teens can be in the car for this one to work.
5. Smile at the girl
TIP: Axe, and good looks to begin with... and bring money just in case.
6. The 1 car sneak
Skip the ordering window, but hang out in-between windows until some orders behind you. Hope that they order something good. If you get caught, tell them it's been a long day and you thought you had ordered or that this was your first time in a drive though and you didn't know.
7. The Sprinter
Strap on the Nikes, you have 0.1-3 seconds while the bag is held outside of the window before it makes it into the car. Time it well. Watch out for the elbow and the left hand mirror. DO NOT STOP RUNNING. after the dude realizes that taco bell ain't paying for another crunch wrap... he will be coming. A getaway car will increase the likelihood of you ever getting a chance to eat that crunch wrap.
Run buddy, run.
TIP: To increase the emotional impact, listen to Chariots of Fire or Mission Impossible for 3 hours before you begin and during the endeavor too. It also decreases seconds thoughts.
8. The sprinter Advanced
Same as number 7, but you have a friend. He orders a bunch of stuff on the menu (enough for you and him), make sure he never actually touches the bag (that way they can't say it's his fault and besides I doubt they have a standard procedure for this type of thing). They'll remake the food. Even though this does require a little more planning, it's worth it. You don't have to worry about the angry dude chasing you, the elbow or the chance that you open it up and find a $.79 taco. And if done right, you'll have a 10 second window instead of 2 seconds.
TIP: this friend, better be someone you trust... he could really screw you.
9. Bring your old cup
At some places, they will even let you get away with is. I mean that as opposed to you getting away with it because you didn't get caught or you came at 3:30 in the morning and made your own door.
10. "This burger tastes like crap"
Eat half the burger, ask for the manager. Ask him why there is mayo on it...
TIP: Anger!! They had better think you're capable of a service complaint that makes it to people in high places.
11. Check the receipt
There should be a number on it to call for a service complaint, they'll send you a free meal coupon.
If you would like permission to use any of these, it will only cost you a free meal at carls. We've been low on funds ever since we tried to hire those assassins.
1. "I forgot my money"
3 step process:
order your food, forget your money, act sorry at the window. Works every time.
2. "1 large frite"
2 step process:
Order a large sprite, at the window ask "where's my large fry". Act very, very mad.
TIP: Make sure they serve sprite; bring money just in case.
3. "I have a buy one get one free coupon"
When ordering, tell them you have a buy one get one free coupon. 11 times in a row and counting, they forgot to ask for it. I have yet to do it on purpose, but I did start keeping track of how many times we both forgot.
TIP: you may think that this is a lame number 3 suggestion, but in reality... this is probably the only one that will actually work, and you don't end up in jail. Keep that in mind before you try anything stupid.
4. "You forgot my burger dude"
It's the oldest one in the book, "I was here earlier and you didn't give me my Big Mac". Be advised, that this one takes more work at In and Out. They will actually check their records to see if you ordered it. So, order a lot of stuff and say it fast. It's all in the wording, you didn't give me the burger I ordered... (not that I paid for it). At McDonalds... you're good to go, just be sure that they didn't actually forget your burger because chances are they did.
TIP: Where a suit or bring an adult. No more then 2 teens can be in the car for this one to work.
5. Smile at the girl
TIP: Axe, and good looks to begin with... and bring money just in case.
6. The 1 car sneak
Skip the ordering window, but hang out in-between windows until some orders behind you. Hope that they order something good. If you get caught, tell them it's been a long day and you thought you had ordered or that this was your first time in a drive though and you didn't know.
7. The Sprinter
Strap on the Nikes, you have 0.1-3 seconds while the bag is held outside of the window before it makes it into the car. Time it well. Watch out for the elbow and the left hand mirror. DO NOT STOP RUNNING. after the dude realizes that taco bell ain't paying for another crunch wrap... he will be coming. A getaway car will increase the likelihood of you ever getting a chance to eat that crunch wrap.
Run buddy, run.
TIP: To increase the emotional impact, listen to Chariots of Fire or Mission Impossible for 3 hours before you begin and during the endeavor too. It also decreases seconds thoughts.
8. The sprinter Advanced
Same as number 7, but you have a friend. He orders a bunch of stuff on the menu (enough for you and him), make sure he never actually touches the bag (that way they can't say it's his fault and besides I doubt they have a standard procedure for this type of thing). They'll remake the food. Even though this does require a little more planning, it's worth it. You don't have to worry about the angry dude chasing you, the elbow or the chance that you open it up and find a $.79 taco. And if done right, you'll have a 10 second window instead of 2 seconds.
TIP: this friend, better be someone you trust... he could really screw you.
9. Bring your old cup
At some places, they will even let you get away with is. I mean that as opposed to you getting away with it because you didn't get caught or you came at 3:30 in the morning and made your own door.
10. "This burger tastes like crap"
Eat half the burger, ask for the manager. Ask him why there is mayo on it...
TIP: Anger!! They had better think you're capable of a service complaint that makes it to people in high places.
11. Check the receipt
There should be a number on it to call for a service complaint, they'll send you a free meal coupon.
If you would like permission to use any of these, it will only cost you a free meal at carls. We've been low on funds ever since we tried to hire those assassins.
4/5/08
4/3/08
We love N
So, it hit me the other day. We always diss Travis and Cody, but what about the 3rd author of RFCN? How come we never smack on him?
Then it hit me... its because RFCN likes N.
I'm not really sure why... so I put together some theories...
R--N? You know how they say that people can read words as long as the first and the last letter are in its proper place? Well maybe N is just that important.
Or maybe He's just the normal one at FCN...
N... if you can hear us... please make FCN stop hijacking itself... we know its F and C's idea... so just make it stop.
Then it hit me... its because RFCN likes N.
I'm not really sure why... so I put together some theories...
R--N? You know how they say that people can read words as long as the first and the last letter are in its proper place? Well maybe N is just that important.
Or maybe He's just the normal one at FCN...
N... if you can hear us... please make FCN stop hijacking itself... we know its F and C's idea... so just make it stop.
4/1/08
How to take over the world, gamma version 1.1 patch 3.0
I realized today that I've been wasting my time. Education? Its pointless. A genius is a genius no matter how... Ok that doesn't really work... Anyways. So what I should really be focusing on is how to get to the top of the food chain. How to be the king of the jungle; the hotshot; the man with the money; the man who makes the salsa. After all, at the end of the day, its the man with the biggest sombrero that wins right?
Here's my 10 point plan.
1: Build up my PR... Cody Herche style. Yes, I am going to suck up to every parent this side of the Mississippi. I won't have to worry about the other side of the Mississippi because they'll all be destroyed with my plan.
2: Become an adamant liberal. Sorry Dr Paul, I'm really going to be a democrat now.
3: Buy a sombrero.
4: Run for city council and act like I'm mayor.
5: Become questionably involved in a number of business and professional scandals...
6: Make half the world hate my guts while simultaneously making the other half love me because they think the first half hates me due to sexism and my liberal views.
7: Wait for Hillary to come knocking on my door and accept her offer for VP.
8: Wait for Hillary to take over the world.
9: Put Hillary in a box, and put that box in another box, send that box to myself and smash... you get the point
10: Take over the world.
Here's my 10 point plan.
1: Build up my PR... Cody Herche style. Yes, I am going to suck up to every parent this side of the Mississippi. I won't have to worry about the other side of the Mississippi because they'll all be destroyed with my plan.
2: Become an adamant liberal. Sorry Dr Paul, I'm really going to be a democrat now.
3: Buy a sombrero.
4: Run for city council and act like I'm mayor.
5: Become questionably involved in a number of business and professional scandals...
6: Make half the world hate my guts while simultaneously making the other half love me because they think the first half hates me due to sexism and my liberal views.
7: Wait for Hillary to come knocking on my door and accept her offer for VP.
8: Wait for Hillary to take over the world.
9: Put Hillary in a box, and put that box in another box, send that box to myself and smash... you get the point
10: Take over the world.
R-FCN
Ladies and Gentleman, children of all ages, and Travis,
it brings me great pleasure, highest honor, and a touchy feely feeling inside to announce to you:
The MERGE of RFCN and FCN!
Yes, we have agreed that the only thing better than RFCN, and FCN, is RFCN! (FCN + RFCN = RFCN... what? Do you know a better way? Should we be called FCNRFCN? Didn't think so...)
Yes, from now on, you will get twice the humor! Twice the the lame inside jokes! Twice the subtle!!!! Wait... is there a such thing as subtle!!!!!?
Yes, we finally broke down and let FCN in on our readers and our success. After all, part of our success is due to them! Where would we gotten the last 3 letters of our name? We would lose our "four letter word" status. That, we could not bare.
Without FCN... we would be nobodys... we would have uninfluenced humor that might have been funny. We could have had millions of readers instead of thousands... And nobody would realize we only post a few times a month and not everyday... thanks FCN, thanks.
So, welcome FCN welcome!
FCN will close down their site in 5 days and we'll have our 1st post on April 5th.
it brings me great pleasure, highest honor, and a touchy feely feeling inside to announce to you:
The MERGE of RFCN and FCN!
Yes, we have agreed that the only thing better than RFCN, and FCN, is RFCN! (FCN + RFCN = RFCN... what? Do you know a better way? Should we be called FCNRFCN? Didn't think so...)
Yes, from now on, you will get twice the humor! Twice the the lame inside jokes! Twice the subtle!!!! Wait... is there a such thing as subtle!!!!!?
Yes, we finally broke down and let FCN in on our readers and our success. After all, part of our success is due to them! Where would we gotten the last 3 letters of our name? We would lose our "four letter word" status. That, we could not bare.
Without FCN... we would be nobodys... we would have uninfluenced humor that might have been funny. We could have had millions of readers instead of thousands... And nobody would realize we only post a few times a month and not everyday... thanks FCN, thanks.
So, welcome FCN welcome!
FCN will close down their site in 5 days and we'll have our 1st post on April 5th.
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