Funny stories: Da Momma's boy

So the other day, Rich and I are sitting at a stop sign when I hear something in the car next to me. I look over at this white Chevy pickup with a gangster looking fella in his 20's to find him talking to himself. It looked as though he was rehearsing a speech but it's possible he had an ear piece in the opposite ear. Either way I heard him say the following:

"Mom, Mom, Listen. I'm just trying to say, I can't do this. I can't go on living the rest of my life with a girl I don't even know"

We starting busting up laughing... I think he heard us so Rich hit the gas... lol

Computers are soo smart...

The following are the responses I got from a hosting account form while registering a domain name.


"You entered two different passwords."


"Your password must contain 7 to 14 characters."


"Your password must contain at least one lowercase letter."


"Your password must contain at least one uppercase letter."


"Your password must begin with a letter."


"Your password must contain a number"


"Your password may not contain your username"


"Your password can not contain any of the following characters: question mark, space, caret, single quote, double quote, colon, backslashes, dollar sign, ampersand, greater than, less than, tilde, semi-colon, accent."





My frustration went from annoyance to anger to boredom and then it turned into humor. So I wrote them down for your enjoyment.

My lynx effect

I gave in. I succumbed to the temptation, inhaled the ambition, submitted to the attraction, appeased the enticement, agreed to the provocation, relinquished the hankering and buckled to the bait. Yeah… all that. I was so strong before, but the lies -on the commercials- were so luring. I kept telling myself: "you know the commercial has… paid girls acting like they are madly attracted to a scent…" But could you blame me? I just had to find out for myself.

I wear axe.



Supposedly axe has a natural attraction formula that really causes a reaction by the opposite sex. It’s called, Axe effect or Lynx effect. On the commercials women will run for miles –even swim through the ocean or run through a jungle- to get to the scent.



I have all of the regular flavors: Apollo, Clix, Essence, Groove, Kilo, Marine, Musk, Orion, Phoenix, Pulse, Touch, Tsunami, Unlimited, Voodoo, and I have 4 out of the 6 limited addition scents… Below-0, Boost, Ready, Recovery, Relapse, and Willing.



I received the body wash for Christmas and I use the shampoo too. I have the regular size, travel size and mega big. I even have the computer game!
“Axe released an online game for PC called Mojo Master to promote their products. The game has the player trying to seduce digital women using Axe products to help them out.”



OK… so I just gotta know… did anyone feel any strange attraction force going through the air today? If you did, don’t worry, it was just me and my axe.

Shrek

Well... this summer Rich, the Weakleys, Sam Yoeman and I were at the weakleys house.... kinda bored... so we bought some fire works



Shrek never had a chance...

(ps Rob said omgosh... not oh my g... we dont' cuss like that.)

Steroids.

Barry bonds (AKA the steroid man, AKA big league cheater, AKA the guy who is close to making a new record for most home runs) has been accused of taking steroids to cheat while making a new record for most home runs.

This is no surprise to us at RFCN, Robert had a similar experience during his extremely brief wrestling carrier. Except…Robert was taking weight loss drugs in combination with steroids, which turned out to be 93.46% counterproductive. The number 93.46% basically means that Robert lost small amounts of his already small muscle mass and was ejected from the JKUWC - Junior Kiddie Ultimate Wrestling Championships. Robert then took a turn for the better and started home school debate, where there is no penalty for counterproductive muscle mass loss.

A very comparable thing happened to Michael Jackson. Mike was kicked out of the US for hanging babies over the balconies of hotels. Actually he wasn’t kicked out, he left. And it wasn’t for hanging babies over balconies of hotels. His press agent never told us why he actually left during our interview yesterday:

RFCN: “So Mr. press agent, did Mr. Jackson leave the country because he decided he hates president Bush?”

Press Agent: “I can assure you that Mr. Jackson didn’t leave the country because of the highly publicized court case between he and the molested children.”

RFCN: …alright…so did he leave the country because he disagrees with the Iraq War?”

PA: “Absolutely Mr. Jackson didn’t feel pressured by the news corporations to leave due to the multiple scandals that occurred at his Neverland Ranch.”

RFCN: “Well why did Mr. Jackson leave the US?”

::PA’s cell phone rings to the tune of Smooth Criminal::

PA: “Excuse me for just a moment”…talks on phone…”The United States has just declared war on Dubai because spy satellites have apparently spotted WMDs, I need to catch a plane back to Mr. Jackson’s palace immediately!”

RFCN: “Well it was nice talking to you. We are looking forward to seeing you here again so we can actually get some answers from you.”


In conclusion, we at RFCN agree that Bonds is definitely on track to break the home run record whether or not he leaves the country.