Well... every time I go to post, I just can't do it. I can't bare to risk it. To be honest, people like our posts right now and I don't want to mess that up. For the first time in the history of our site, Chris has been nice to us, Mommy G completely stopped commenting (probably because she does not read out site anymore, but that's ok.) and even Adrialian has said some positive things about us.
It just... it just broke our hearts. I don't know what to do anymore. It sorta took away all of our motivation. Our whole site was built from fire. It's like asking someone who has only known war to live in a peaceful society. I feel like a guy having tea and knitting with 50 women. I feel like a wild Indian sitting inside a huge theater watching Beethovens 9th. I feel like Travis looking for love.
Well... either that or I didnt' have time.
10/16/07
10/11/07
If you're flying through the air with nothing to save you, smile
So I had a dream last night.
I was flying through the air on a seat and a handheld rocket propeller. The rocket propeller was closest related to rocketeers little pack thingy. Except, I was holding this thing in my hand and flying through the air. Then, suddenly, my seat and rocket propeller disconnect from me. I am now 10,000 feet high in the air with nothing to help me fly. Not good, not good at all... So, after I pulled myself together, I began to dive towards my only hope for survival in a massive amount of speed, much like Spiderman's dive for Mary Jane, except mine was cooler -- much cooler. So a minute or two pass by and I spot my rocket pack next to me. It took me a while to figure out how to steer to the right while falling at would now be... a couple hundred miles per hour. I finally catch the pack and put in on it just the right time. With a hundred feet left I push "full speed" and prepare to pull up in a massive amount of speed. My pack never started. The next thing I remember was SPLAT! maybe it would have been more... KA-SPLAT! Actually it was probably Ka-body.decimates.into.a.flat.redish-looking.pancake-splat!
Well, I am so thankful my body feels the need to make dreams real for me... I woke up the second I hit the ground and couldn't move my body. I was in shock for at least a minute.
How the heck did my mind figure out what it would feel like to fall through the air panicking? Geeez it's like the evil genius computer that searches its database for something to destroy the world with and get around all the defenses.
I've freaken died almost every night this week!
I was flying through the air on a seat and a handheld rocket propeller. The rocket propeller was closest related to rocketeers little pack thingy. Except, I was holding this thing in my hand and flying through the air. Then, suddenly, my seat and rocket propeller disconnect from me. I am now 10,000 feet high in the air with nothing to help me fly. Not good, not good at all... So, after I pulled myself together, I began to dive towards my only hope for survival in a massive amount of speed, much like Spiderman's dive for Mary Jane, except mine was cooler -- much cooler. So a minute or two pass by and I spot my rocket pack next to me. It took me a while to figure out how to steer to the right while falling at would now be... a couple hundred miles per hour. I finally catch the pack and put in on it just the right time. With a hundred feet left I push "full speed" and prepare to pull up in a massive amount of speed. My pack never started. The next thing I remember was SPLAT! maybe it would have been more... KA-SPLAT! Actually it was probably Ka-body.decimates.into.a.flat.redish-looking.pancake-splat!
Well, I am so thankful my body feels the need to make dreams real for me... I woke up the second I hit the ground and couldn't move my body. I was in shock for at least a minute.
How the heck did my mind figure out what it would feel like to fall through the air panicking? Geeez it's like the evil genius computer that searches its database for something to destroy the world with and get around all the defenses.
I've freaken died almost every night this week!
10/8/07
Author information update
Hey guys, just want to introduce Katie as our new grammar editor and humor advisor. Thanks Katie!
Dudes... It just means she's going to proof read the stuff
Dudes... It just means she's going to proof read the stuff
10/4/07
Irony Galore
Some of you may know, I am a professional wedding photographer, I've been to so many weddings, I lost count. But I have made some observations I would like to share with you.
So, without farther ado and further nonsense: The top ten most ironic things about weddings
1. Why do the mother-in-laws light the unity candle when the mother-in-laws are usually the source of all dis-unity in the relationship?
2. Why are people always sad at funurals and happy at weddings? At least some people who die have heaven to look forward to.
3. The ring is to symbolize love, it never ends... but you don't get very far before you hit the same old turf again and again and again.
4. It's a God ordained institution... but you need a marriage license from the government to do it.
5. They ask if anyone has any objections... but if you do... they don't really want to know. Do they?
6. If you vow to love and live together forever... what's with the prenup?
7. Everything in the ceremony is traditional, but now they are starting to ditch the only tradition that comes from western civilization. Surly you know of it, walking down the aisle... da-don-don-don At the last wedding, they played Faith Hill; so why can't they update the dresses a few thousand years?
8. The bride wears a vail over her face...is that so the groom doesn't have any second thoughts as she comes down the isle?
9. The music that is played as they come back down the isle sounds a lot like that of the music of soldiers going into battle.
10. On a more serious note, the couples that have honored God in their relationship never have a happier day in their lives.
So, without farther ado and further nonsense: The top ten most ironic things about weddings
1. Why do the mother-in-laws light the unity candle when the mother-in-laws are usually the source of all dis-unity in the relationship?
2. Why are people always sad at funurals and happy at weddings? At least some people who die have heaven to look forward to.
3. The ring is to symbolize love, it never ends... but you don't get very far before you hit the same old turf again and again and again.
4. It's a God ordained institution... but you need a marriage license from the government to do it.
5. They ask if anyone has any objections... but if you do... they don't really want to know. Do they?
6. If you vow to love and live together forever... what's with the prenup?
7. Everything in the ceremony is traditional, but now they are starting to ditch the only tradition that comes from western civilization. Surly you know of it, walking down the aisle... da-don-don-don At the last wedding, they played Faith Hill; so why can't they update the dresses a few thousand years?
8. The bride wears a vail over her face...is that so the groom doesn't have any second thoughts as she comes down the isle?
9. The music that is played as they come back down the isle sounds a lot like that of the music of soldiers going into battle.
10. On a more serious note, the couples that have honored God in their relationship never have a happier day in their lives.
10/2/07
The following takes place from 10am to 11am on the day of the presidential primary
The following is dialogue that took place at 10 p.m. after a 10 hour day at MJC, and being very, very tired. Out of a class of 47 or so, Rich and I had A+’s that accounted for 2 of the only 5 A’s in the class. The teacher graded on a curve because of a very large amount of F's and D's. But we still managed to have the following argument.
Bob: I got the highest score on the test and now I have the highest score in the class.
Dick: Um, no you didn’t
Bob: Yes I did, I got 105 and you got 100.
Dick: But you only got 91 right on the test.
Bob: It doesn’t matter; the teacher said the extra credit would count as 10 pts on the test.
Dick: Yeah, but on the test, I did better.
Bob: Well if you want to get technical, the teacher graded on a curve and made your 96 100%.
Dick: But you got the same 4 points I did. And that doesn't work because I had the highest grade on the test so I got 100 correct no matter what. I couldn't have done better. You could have.
Bob: The extra credit was an open invitation to anyone, therefore you had the same opportunity and I scored better.
Dick: I was gone on that day, so I couldn't get the extra credit. But on the test I DID BETTER!
Bob: So! You choose to be gone. I purposely did the extra credit so I wouldn’t have to study as hard or read the constitution. Therefore, I’m smarter than you and I scored better.
Dick: You had plenty of time to read the constitution, that fact that you didn't just means that you're even more of a loser.
Bob: You keep trying to downgrade my stagetic studying. If I didn’t have 10 extra credit pts I would have studied more and STILL BEAT YOU!
Dick: But percentage wise, I did better. 100 out of 100 is a better percentage then 105 out of 110!
Bob: That’s only because of the CURVE! AND I STILL beat you! And the extra credit counts ON THE TEST.
Dick: Do you know what a curve is? The teacher took the top score and gave everyone the difference between that and 100%. So, I could not have done better, if I had 98 everyone would only have gotten 2 more points.
Bob: With or without the curve I still would have had 100%, therefore you didn’t help me!
Dick: Adding or taking 4 points to both of us has no effect on my percentage argument. That would have been 101 out of 110 possible vs. 96 out of 100 possible, I STILL WIN!
Bob: All I know is on the paper I have the highest grade.
Dick: And on the test I have the least incorrect.
Bob: But I’m smarter than you cause I actually took 2 hours to listen to a speech and write an essay for the extra credit!
Dick: I was gone, I couldn't go to it... or write an essay on it.
Bob: YOU'RE A LOSER!!!
Dick: I HAD THE HIGHEST GRADE ON THE TEST!!!
::silence in the car for 5 minutes::
Bob: We both smoked the class, don’t you think this is stupid to argue about?
Dick: Yes, why’d you bring it up.
Bob: I didn’t, you did!
Dick: No, dude, we both know you did.
Bob: Whatever.
Yep, little too much school lately :-P
Bob: I got the highest score on the test and now I have the highest score in the class.
Dick: Um, no you didn’t
Bob: Yes I did, I got 105 and you got 100.
Dick: But you only got 91 right on the test.
Bob: It doesn’t matter; the teacher said the extra credit would count as 10 pts on the test.
Dick: Yeah, but on the test, I did better.
Bob: Well if you want to get technical, the teacher graded on a curve and made your 96 100%.
Dick: But you got the same 4 points I did. And that doesn't work because I had the highest grade on the test so I got 100 correct no matter what. I couldn't have done better. You could have.
Bob: The extra credit was an open invitation to anyone, therefore you had the same opportunity and I scored better.
Dick: I was gone on that day, so I couldn't get the extra credit. But on the test I DID BETTER!
Bob: So! You choose to be gone. I purposely did the extra credit so I wouldn’t have to study as hard or read the constitution. Therefore, I’m smarter than you and I scored better.
Dick: You had plenty of time to read the constitution, that fact that you didn't just means that you're even more of a loser.
Bob: You keep trying to downgrade my stagetic studying. If I didn’t have 10 extra credit pts I would have studied more and STILL BEAT YOU!
Dick: But percentage wise, I did better. 100 out of 100 is a better percentage then 105 out of 110!
Bob: That’s only because of the CURVE! AND I STILL beat you! And the extra credit counts ON THE TEST.
Dick: Do you know what a curve is? The teacher took the top score and gave everyone the difference between that and 100%. So, I could not have done better, if I had 98 everyone would only have gotten 2 more points.
Bob: With or without the curve I still would have had 100%, therefore you didn’t help me!
Dick: Adding or taking 4 points to both of us has no effect on my percentage argument. That would have been 101 out of 110 possible vs. 96 out of 100 possible, I STILL WIN!
Bob: All I know is on the paper I have the highest grade.
Dick: And on the test I have the least incorrect.
Bob: But I’m smarter than you cause I actually took 2 hours to listen to a speech and write an essay for the extra credit!
Dick: I was gone, I couldn't go to it... or write an essay on it.
Bob: YOU'RE A LOSER!!!
Dick: I HAD THE HIGHEST GRADE ON THE TEST!!!
::silence in the car for 5 minutes::
Bob: We both smoked the class, don’t you think this is stupid to argue about?
Dick: Yes, why’d you bring it up.
Bob: I didn’t, you did!
Dick: No, dude, we both know you did.
Bob: Whatever.
Yep, little too much school lately :-P
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