Prank Tip #2

Continuing the pranks:

First, stick several hundred forks in your victim’s lawn (definitely all of the front, and also the back…as long as they don’t have a loud dog)
Next, break 4 or 5 pounds of dry pasta and spread it over the forked lawn.
After that, TP all of the trees in your victim’s yard.
Lastly, turn on their sprinkler system. Make sure you avoid the victim for several days.

Fan Mail

We always encourage emailing us at reallyfunnyclassnotes@gmail.com. Over the last few weeks we've accumulated some fan mail. We thought we should share it with ya'll so you see how well everyone thinks we are doing.

Here it is....


likesbigfingernails@gmail.com Said:

Hey, I was going through an old list of email addresses and I saw your name. I really need a date this Friday night so please let me know if you are interested… Monica right? That’s your name? I reaaaaallly need a date this Friday.

Too.much.sun.makes.me.hyper@gmail.com Said:

HI RFCN! Hehehe OMGsh I like totally like you guys and you like totally make my day and I like totally … forgot what I was saying but I totally like you guys!

Travis@gmail.com Said:

You guys are good but, can you start writing more emotional stuff? Maybe throw out the humor and just go with sad poems and stuff more from the deepest saddest parts of your hearts. Make people cry. My girlfriend left me so I really need a friend. Actually she never was really my girlfriend but she left me anyways.

likesbigfingernails@gmail.com Said:

Um, I think I got the wrong email address… who are you guys? … Do you know any girls available Friday night? I’m not picky.

JustaDude-w/o-teeth@gmail.com Said:

Hey… I really didn’t like you calling Keira Knightley manly… She may be strong and lacking womanly features… but she’s not manly!

likesbigfingernails@gmail.com Said:

Ok… I get it… I’ll pay you $100 dollars for a girl Friday night.

FunnyClassNotes@gmail.com Said:

Just because you have 300 unique visitors and we have 9 does not mean you are funny.

CIA.terror/leakingintel@google.gov Said:

We are receiving reports that your site may have made references to Guantanamo Bay. Please delete these references immediately or you may be subject to abandonment of civil liberties, unwarranted house searches, phone monitoring, indefinite imprisonment and or torture.





OK there you have it! ...
...
...
...
Gosh I just love how much our fans love us.

Why'd he do it?

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Individual perspectives on the matter


Woody Allen: I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything.


Aristotle: To actualize its potential.


Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


Jack Benny: I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking


Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.


Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads


Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death.


Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends
upon your frame of reference.


Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.


M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.


Bill Gates: To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes
at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ...


Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


Edgar Allen Poe: To die. In the rain. Alone.


Sherlock Holmes: Do not concern yourself with the chicken that did cross the road; the answer lies with the chicken that did not cross the road.


Saddam Hussein: It is the Mother of all Chickens.


Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.


Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.


Karl Marx: It crossed twice. First time, it was a tragedy; second time, a farce.


Chico Marx: It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.


Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.


Harpo Marx: Honk! Honk! Honk!


Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.


Plato: For the greater good.


Arnold Schwartznegger: I can puss law givin right for chickens to cross da road, in da grat state of Califourn na, wath all da grat citizens, faster than Grey Dave... or wus it Gray Davy... whatavor his name wus.


Mom: I don't know, but you better look both ways like I taught you if you ever cross the road.


Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been told!


O.J.Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.


Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.


Oprah Winfrey: To avoid mad-chicken disease.

News flash

We aren't too sure if some of our viewers get out to much. In fact, we aren't too sure some of them get out at all. So RFCN has started a random new alert to update you on the wonderful things happening around us. Be sure to read up and get a few laughs from reality.

In the news


Nicole Richie has apparently decided to find out what the hype is about jail for herself. Why didn't' she just go at the same time as Paris and they could have made a TV series about it! Oh well...
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/california/la-me-richie28jul28,1,1484686.story?coll=la-headlines-pe-california

Did you ever wonder what astronauts really do with all their time up in space?
Maybe it is because they have seen so much that coming back to earth is just a disappointment. Are the women that much better looking in space?
http://www.spaceflightnow.com/news/n0707/27astrohealth/

Better start watching more copyrighted videos on you tube, because in a few months, google's going to start obeying the law. I thought they were the law... weird... my bad.
http://news.com.com/8301-10784_3-9751232-7.html

I know... I know... You drink battled water because it comes from mountain streams and gets hiked on horseback to the factory where it's shipped right to the store, right? Welcome to the age of enlightenment.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003809534_aquafina28.html

Barriod Bonds is about to make history again. 'nough said.
http://www.salem-news.com/sports/july282007/bonds_record_072807.php



Well that's it for the new of late...

Prank tips #1 painting cars

RFCN guys are much too mature and responsible to endeavor childish pranking behavior, but we came up with a way to assuage our pranking desires in complete abstinence (or mostly complete ;) ). We decided to start a new RFCN series entitled "pranking tips", to give humorous ideas for pranking in just about any situation. I'm not sure if you all are aware, but the RFCN twin guys used to be quite advid prankers.

Prank tip #1


tools: Ceramic tape, paint, a stupid guy and beer usually helps.



All you do is cover a car in the pastic and then paint it any color you desire. When they come outside, it will look like someone painted their car.

Don't paint your name on it.

Hollywood Match-making

We here at RFCN have noticed an excessive amount of Bachelors and bachelorettes within the RFCN community. Normally, this is not a bad thing. Normally... but we have indeed noticed that some people are getting desperate. One member of the RFCN administration has noticed in particular an excessive amount of match making, this has become annoying for certain people. But I have noticed that people who are married don’t usually end up on the list of people I should marry. So, because I am brilliant; I came up with a plan. And through this plan everyone is happy. Why? Because who wouldn’t want to marry a movie star?!! Now I know what you're thinking, since when have celebrities had successful marriages? Well you're right, they haven't at all. This is why our plan is so brilliant; marrying responsible homeschoolers is exactly what they need!

So in light of this glistening solution and in honor of failed marriages (and non-existent marriages) we now propose the following homeschooler-celebrity match-ups!!
(Btw, these were picked at random)


Richard and Jessica Alba

Wait, how did that happen? Oh well, guess it's just his day, but it will work out. She is so fine, and they just simply isn’t anyone as deserving as Richard. RFCN gives their blessing on this relationship, may they live in happiness.

Anyways, now that that is done, let's move on. The rest in no particular order:


Katie and Colin Farrell

This is perfect; Katie loves kids and wants a big family. And what a coincidence, we were able to find this photo of Colin playing with a kid...implying that he likes children. This is a perfect match, sure to succeed.

::sigh:: we are so brilliant.


Cody and Anna Nichole Smith

If you play this right, you could get a child from it and a little dinero. I don’t know the legal ramifications of marrying a dead person, but to my knowledge (and we researched this) there have not been any failed attempts... logical extension: success is certain.


Trevor and Oprah Winfrey

They will do fine! They deserve each other, what else can we say?

Side note: You know that forth member of the RFCN blog that... hasn’t really ever logged on… well… ahem. nm.


Kaitlin and Brad Pitt

She’s cute, he’s manly.


Jeremiah and Keira Knightley

He’s cute, she’s manly.




Michele and Jackie Chan

This would probably be a good time to point out that our matching techniques do not include race and age as factors; due to the empirically proven success of ignoring such minor details within the celebrity circles.

That said, we have no doubt that Jackie will be pulling some moves on Michele.


Travis and Orlando Bloom

We know what you’re thinking, it’s wrong to pair 2 girls up… you may have a point. ::looks around:: how did this happen?

If (after you got done laughing) you were offended by that one, we blame it on Microsoft. Anything computer related is always their fault.



Laralyn and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Dang. With Laralyn's obsession over abs; who a better choice then the governator himself? Mr. Universe, the dude has some serious muscles. Maybe he is getting a little old, but considering how ripped he used to be; he’s still got to be more pleasant to look at than most Envoy guys.



Robert and Reece Witherspoon

He is planning on getting a law degree; she got one on and was nice enough to let Hollywood make a movie about it (legally blonde). Do you guys feel the magic with this one? How can you possible get more romantic then chasing ambulances with your significant other? 2 lawyers = 1 happy family. Just be sure to sign the prenuptial agreement.


Kelsey and George Clooney

Both of them eat, sleep and breathe air. That’s 3 of our 4 compatibility variants right there! Our computers are telling us that with all that in common, dude, it’s going to be a relationship that redefines union.

Again, SME (Standard Microsoft Errors) are a factor anytime computers are involved.


Stephanie and Justin Timberlake

Why Stephanie? Simple economics: supply and supply. You supply the money we supply the hot celebrity match-ups. Justin is currently going at $100,000. (Bids go up in $100 increments).


At this point, we realize that you will need protection from the paparazzi, just keep in mind that we do have unemployed assassins available ever since RFC waved the white flag. (Again, for a small fee.)

And for those of you thinking that we need to stop the assassin jokes because they’re lame… don’t worry because we’re dead serious and we need all the money we can con… I mean gain.

Reality Check

Meet Bob

This was a google profile picture war between my old partner, Jeremiah, and I. In case ya'll wondered what we did during our research time, we definitely had fun. It was all done on paint in about one hour for all of them. It was a xanga post also, so I apologize if you've already seen it and don't to see it again. I thought it was RFCN's worthy.

Just say yes to funniness

Well, Really Funny Class Notes has had its fun with the rivalry, but we think its time to officially call an end to the war. We had a nice talk with an author of FCN and it looks like we will be working together for the good of funniness around the world. We are trying to set an example to the world that they can just say no to violence and yes to funniness.

For the record we'd like to point out that in our short time spent in existence we managed to get 57 unique hits (visitors) with an average of 34 per day. According to FCN's website they have had a grand total of 8 unique visitors, but they did get one of their posts mentioned in The Rebellion

So anyways, now that this isn't such a dark secret, we can give a little more author information.

RFCN is technically 4 Modesto guys. One posts a heck of a lot, one posted once, one edits, and one has yet to show his ugly face on RFCN. Yeah, he might get replaced someday. We aren't really sure why we are keeping the anonymity of the posts, but FCN started it so... whatever. If you want to know who is involved in this blog, just email reallyfunnyclassnotes@gmail.com or ask whoever it is you think it is. (if its not one of us, you'll probably end up asking someone who knows)

Whenever you all read FCN or RFCN, be sure to check out both of them.

Be sure to leave comments on posts so we know how we are doing! It's not that hard, we promise.

SecretlyFlirtatious

It seems our only expertise may be flirting with girls, so we continue with our advice on how to treat women in those unique everyday situations.

You may have never seen a hot signal light girl, but we are decently sure you've all been in situation where you wanted to flirt with a girl but chickened out worst than Kim Jong-il. We know all of us weren’t born with the confidence of a RFCN guy, so we thought we’d try to help out a little.

Here's our short list of ways to secretly flirt with a girl. Please use responsibly.

Random Compliments

Don’t just compliment them, be sure to pick the most random thing on earth and make a big deal about it. Anything from “you hold your fork with such poise” to “your starbucks looks a little more full then mine, must have been a guy working”. Girls will mostly just think you are an idiot. This is really handy for later on becuase if you bite the dust and marry the girl, you'll have real compliments left for those days when you forget your anniversary. ::Ahem:: sorry, thinking way to far ahead here, we have to keep in mind that Travis reads this blog from time to time.

Generalize your Statements

Try saying nice things about everyone that really only apply to her. For example, “you all have such beautiful hair”. We wouldn’t recommend using that one with only guys standing around her. A more clever approach is actually to generalize all girls not just other people around her. For example, “girls are doing such a nice job making their hair look nice these days”. She might find it strange but you should be on safe ground. “Hey stop looking at me like that, I said all girls, not just you. Don’t hit me, I really just meant every girl except you has nice hair.” Actually don’t say that last sentence, it might be a slapper. (Face, not knee slapper, Chris)

Add, “In a sister sort of way”

If you just used a nice compliment on a girl and she starts to give you the “no way sucker” look, quickly add, “in a sister sort of way” to the end of your sentence. “you are the sweetest girl I have ever meant and I would love to hang out with you more” “I mean in a sister sort of way”. Try to stay away from kissing comments if you use the sister technique. (unless you live in Alabama or something)

Talk for someone else

Just start with “so my buddy saw you the other day and he said” … “he said that you have the prettiest hair of all the girls he’s seen” After you start with a believable comment (that your "friend made"), get really specific so that she wonders if he’s saying it or if you are saying it. "he said he really likes the way your hair shines in the sun and makes that bright blonde look like its doing right now. ... I mean right then when he was looking at you" If she gets mad just say “yeah and I slapped him and told him never to hang out with me again if he looks at you like that”

Mumble and deny

This one takes some quick thinking, but you can almost mumble something. When she asks you what you said, make up something that sounds like it.
“You look really nice” “I saiiid this steak needs some spice” You can also try double meaning words, just change your tone of voice or add a clarity word the second time, “you look really hot” “and sweaty, do you need some water?”


We would like to state that RFCN's official position on this is that you should flirt like a man. But, if you do use our tips, best of luck to you.

RFCN is not responsible for any and all injuries sustained while attempting to be secretly flirtatious. While using our methods please do not reference RFCN or any of their posts. RFCN has the right to deniability and does not offer a guarantee or warranty of any kind. If you do happen to use our technique and some how end up marrying a rich heiress, please remember the kind authors at RFCN who are still living on 25 cent allowances.

[useful] Life tip #4

Don't go swimming in the ocean, you dont' know what's in there.

If you must go swimming.... ahh forget this... here's the article

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/11/tech/main3043855.shtml

Who's dumb idea was it for life tips anyways?

[useful] Life tip #3

Don't go shopping.

If you must go shopping, don't go shopping in Wichita, Kansas.

If you must go shopping in Wichita, Kansas, don't get stabbed inside the store.

http://www.kansascity.com/115/story/176623.html

[useful] Life tip #2

Don't buy ipods, their freaken expensive.

If you must buy an ipod, don't use it in the rain.

If you must use an ipod in the rain, don't get struck by lightning. [not that we care about you, but it's just a big waste of money on your ipod]

If you really want to ruin your ipod by getting struck by lightning in the rain, considering donated your ipod to RFCN and use your cell phone or something instead.

http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/blogs/index.cfm?entryid=1097&blogid=4

Signal light girls

While our friends over at FCN may be just starting out to drive, most of the authors of RFCN have been driving for a little while. In our experience, we have discovered what we’d like to call signal light girls.

One minute, you are sitting in the left turn lane at a red signal wondering why you had to miss the light, and the next, she comes along. The woman of your dreams drives up right beside you in a red corvette. She probably only looks like the woman of your dreams because you can only see the shoulders up, but she’s got you staring at her anyways. You look at her for two seconds in awe before it hits you: this lights only going to last a few more seconds and you’ll never see her again. Yes we know some of you out there have been in our shoes, and if you haven’t, you will someday. Not if, but when you find yourself in this position, do not panic. Try to remain calm. This is your time to separate yourself from the millions of other signal light stalkers out there.

RFCN has come up with a list of suggestions to use if you want to leave an impression.

Stare straight ahead

If you are very shy, too nervous, or scared to try anything risky, try the intellectual stare. Look over in the corner of your eye to see if she’s looking at you. If she is, begin staring at some random object like you are in deep thought. If you are feeling really bold, try staring at an object in her general area, but do not look directly at her. This is a pretty safe tactic so if anything goes wrong, it may just be the driver you cut off a couple miles back finally catching up with you.

Smile and wave

If you are slightly uneasy about being a signal stalker, but want to get the girl to acknowledge you anyways, try the smile and wave. Turn your head towards her and give a medium smile (try not to overdue it and definitely don’t drool). After she looks towards you with curiosity, begin to slowly raise your arm and give a slight wave. Do not give your best Princess Dianna wave or she might think you are some overly egotistic rock-star wannabe who thinks she wants your autograph. If she looks away, rolls up the window, grabs a baseball bat or dials a three digit number, you may have overdone the smile and wave. At that point start hoping your signal light turns green soon. (If she rolls up her window and then runs her red light, you DEFINITELY overdid the smile)

Sing to her

If you are a little more outgoing and like being funny, try the sing along. Roll down your window, turn up your stereo, and begin mouthing the words to her. Depending on how she reacts, you may want to switch the song until you get a song she likes. We recommend DHT's "listen to your heart", Grit's "be mine", or Derek Webb's "love is not against the law".
If you forgot what CD you had in and your stereo starts blasting the bridge to Disturbed's "down with the sickness", Kelly Clarkson's "because of you", or Nickleback's “animals”, you may want to roll up that window and start hoping for a green signal light again.

The stall
If you really want to leave an impression and don’t care about a few honks and mad drivers behind you, try the stall. Stare at her all the way through your green light. This most definitely gets a smile from the girl. (she's probably smiling at you because you look like an idiot but attention is attention right?) There is just one minor disadvantage to the stall. Inevitably, once your light turns green and red again, her light will turn green. Now the girl you are trying to impress is gone and you are left with a line of really angry drivers behind you while you wait for the entire cycle of lights to go again. If the cars behind you start to rear end you, get out of their cars with baseball bats, or looks like they are calling that three digit number again, we suggest you actually just take your chances and run the red light. Our statistics show a higher survival rating for making it through cross traffic than making it through a baseball bat beating.


Unfortunately there is really no way to actually successfully hook up with a signal light girl in the 15 seconds you have at your light, but don’t let us discourage you! You’ll have enough trouble with boyfriends you didn’t see in her passenger seat, cars that block the line of sight, and cops you didn’t see behind you.

Pedestrians
We actually suggest going for cute looking pedestrians. They are the easiest type of girl to hit on... literally. Wait until she's going across the road and then hit the gas ... gently. It's a hit or miss (another bad pun). If you get her unconscious then you can revive her and be her hero for life. If you can't revive her then no biggy. We suggest you don't' practice on more than one girl... as that will upgrade your status to serial killer.

Yes, we hope you enjoy our friendly tips on how to impress women. I'm sure you can see from this that we have a lot of wisdom in this area. If you need any personal tips on women please email us at reallyfunnyclassnotes@gmail.com. If you didn't' like our tips, remember, this post was one of the other three guys who post here.

The assassin department budget shortfall

I know we said we’d never sell t-shirts or anything, and we’re not, but, um…
Well, RFCN assassin department is in need of a bigger budget. As it turns out, it never pays to buy cheap assassins. The idiots were apparently speeding in Ripon. What were they thinking?! They would have gotten off with just a warning for the black ski masks and silenced pistols, but I guess they had a rear tail light out. These guys didn’t even have their green cards, which would have been fine in California, but the officer mistook the poor guys when they said “we RFCN” for “we [a]r[e] FCN” (a terrorists group wanted for spreading anti-government messages in the form of humor). We aren’t too sure the Government likes to bail suspected terrorists out of jail. In fact, we aren’t too sure they like to give terrorists habeas corpus , a speedy trial, or good food.
If you can donate an assassin please let us know, or just send money. Actually, just send money. Lot’s of money. (we're hoping to save up to get Dick Cheney over here)

RFCN is not responble for making sure any of your money actually makes it to paying for an assassin. Your money may be subject to paying for our huge bureaucracy, sudden starbucks visits, new debate suits, and burning. Certain rules and restrictions may apply. Contact your doctor to see if investing in RFCN's assassin department is right for you.

We're all torn up

Yes, what do you do when you start an army; you declare war, and the enemy turns tail and runs? (I guess if you’re President Bush you attack them anyway) What about when you have an arch enemy; you decide to duel eachother with pistols, and your enemy simply fires in the air? (I guess if you’re Andrew Jackson you shoot them anyways)
But we would like to note, even though in their response to our site they tried to claim we were some cliché hidden compliment to them, they did compliment us and offer a hand of friendship. http://funnyclassnotes.blogspot.com/2007/07/cn-reaches-pinnacle-of-blog-success.html

But what is friendship? What kind of friends could arch enemies really be? Are our differences irreconcilable?

First of all, they said we were their “sister site”. Apparently we can’t be much of brothers. Second of all, they assumed we all have “failed love lives”. So, once again they demonstrate something we do not share with them.

But yet, they did have a few good points. They are undermanned, and the only women in their lives is their mamas. How could we continue to beat these poor guys and try to steal the only remaining fans they have left?

We are all torn up.

But we’d like to leave it up to our fans actually.

Anyone who has an interest in the future of RFCN please leave a comment with your first name. (We’ll start a poll later but for now we want to know who you are) FCN people could comment as well if they leave their name or just put FCN peeps.

What should RFCN’s purpose be? Should we:

1. Continue being enemies with FCN and being really funny

2. Don’t be friends but stop the direct rivalry with FCN (or is it CN) and be really funny on our own

3. Leave C----- Notes alone and start our own funny blog stories

4. Be BBF

5. A little of all of the above

Investment Guide to the New Debate Year

The debate year is just starting back up again. That means more research, more late nights, and more coffee. This is also the time of year to start looking at your stock portfolio and asking yourself "what the heck should I invest in this debate season?"

We at RFCN know that there is always the reliable Starbucks...even though it is at a low right now, that's just because debaters haven't started writing their 1ACs yet. As you can see from this detailed graph, http://finance.yahoo.com/q/bc?s=SBUX&t=2y, Starbuck's stocks have dipped after Nationals the past few years, but has consistently shot up around September when the majority of debaters start getting dirty. By dirty we mean covered-in-sweat-from-not-being-able-to-find-that-one-stinkin'-card-and-haven't-stopped-to-take-care-of-personal-hygiene-in-the-past-month-because-they-have-been-writing-breifs-against-cases-that-won't-be-run-ever-again-like-ANWR-dirty. Yes, we at RFCN agree that the best time to buy Starbucks stock is now.

Moving along to the next stock option: the Federal Government. Of course we at FCN never have had enough money to actually buy bonds because our parents only give us $0.25 a week in allowance, but we know that this is probably a good investment option because hey, it's impossible to loose money when giving it to the Federal Government because they spend it on good things for us like healthcare, prisons, and Americorps, right?

In tune with this year's ever changing resolution, we also recommend investing in drug smugglers. We of course haven't invested in smugglers, but our "associates" at FCN have a bit of knowhow in the general area and have highly recommended it for investment-due to the 600% cash return that you don't have to pay taxes on.

Gold is the final option we at RFCN believe is worthy of being invested-in. Gold has always pulled over the top of other metals. It has been on the top of the lists. The top of the stacks. The top of the bets. The top of people's heads, and the bottom of their ears. Gold is good. Gold is pretty. Girls like gold. Guys get greedy when they see gold. Judges change their minds on the ballot when you throw gold at them. Thieves like gold too...that means it's gotta be good to invest in.


This has been RFCN's first annual "Investment Guide to the New Debate Year". A quick recap of what to invest in: Oil, BBC, AXE, Krispy Kreme, and of course 100% Florida Orange Juice.

Our problem

Yes, it seems some people like to leave unloving comments to RFCN’s. Maybe it’s just the people over at FCN’s or maybe, all ya all’s mamas didn’t teach you the old saying: “if ya ain’t got not’n good to say…” Regardless, they’ve just been “pushing us and pushing us and we just can’t take it”. RFCN’s has come up with a way to help you. Yes, call it negative encouragement but we did what FCN never had the guts to do with their little t-shirt campaigns. Yes, RFCN’s created their own RFCN assassin department. So next time you want to leave a nasty comment be sure to leave your name or a very accurate identification mark. (Addresses would be nice as well) We’ll be sure to leave a nice tribute to you on RFCN.

Or maybe we will just have to moderate our comments if ya’ll make us.

Author Information

RFCN is a group of 6 former or current NCFCA (Club Modesto) Debaters, giving a go at humor. We were inspired by http://funnyclassnotes.blogspot.com/. Our site was originally created to spite FCN, a humor blog created by 3 envoy debaters (now in college). Posts come out randomly a few times a week, so check in often!

Our goal is to make you laugh by telling stories, giving advice that you'd never use, making fun of life situations and sometimes making a point. We hope you enjoy our site.

Insects

After man sinned and God cursed the earth, certain torturous parts of the environment were created by God to punish man. We at RFCN are convinced the first things God created after the fall of man were insects. Yes, these little creatures are by far the most irritating of all creatures on this little planet we call home. Why? You ask? It is because even if you kill them, you probably only shortened their life span by hours, if not seconds. And the fact that even if you do smash one, two, or say its your lucky day and you smashed 10 insects, you probably put the same amount of damage on the insect race as Former president Clinton’s affair did on his candidacy. They live off our food, our cr[ud], and even our blood. So many people get angry and continue to swat flies, caring little that they just spilled insect guts on their windows, tables and sometimes dinners.
Insects win only by sheer numbers, and their purpose is to take the logic out of man’s attempts to eliminate them. How many of us have said the following: “I’m going to kill every mosquito, one mosquito at a time”? Maybe it was just Matt Weakley… nm.

According to a recent poll, Americans combined kill .008% of mosquitoes, .0000004 of nats and -.02% of flies (its in the negative numbers because 1 out of every 20 flies killed is pregnant and killing them causes the larvae to hatch thus creating thousands of more flies) The attention devoted to insects is incredible. No doubt insects annoy more people then any other living creature. Every county has a department devoted to insect control. Just the other day I ran into a lady who was in charge of tracking the migratory patterns of an insect never spotted before on our continent by going to green houses in the Stanislaus County. Yeah, I want that job.

That said, ReallyFunnyClassNotes devotes the following post to all of the people that continue to defy odds, intelligence, and continue in complete ignorance. They think they are doing the universe a favor by smashing the fly 20 times harder than it would actually take to kill it.

We would just like to say, the best way to kill an insect… is not to kill the insect, unless done so by accident. Ignore them if at all possible; only then will you defeat insects.
But if you are like us at RFCN and actually enjoy smashing insectoids, here are a few friendly ways to kill them.

Flies

Flies are one of the more popular household insects. Smashing flies can be used for stress release, avoiding complete boredom, and entertaining your date if you are really bad at coming up with creative places to go, can’t kiss because you are home schooled, or are Cody Herche.
There are two main techniques for killing flies: catching and swatting

The first way you can eliminate a fly is by simply catching the fly with your hands. I should not say simply because really there is nothing simple about it at all, unless you have ninja like reaction skills, are really dang lucky, or have way too much time on your hands to practice. Believe it or not, there is actually technique and strategy involved. Yes we at RFCN know this because we qualify as the people with too much time.
The key is, wait until you see the fly bend its wings backwards.Our theory is the fly cannot multi task because it has the brain the size of, well, actually nothing is really as small as a fly's brain.
Place your hand on top of the fly, wait until it bends its wings, and then proceed to grab the fly. Upon grabbing be sure to do a simple check to see if the fly is in your hand. If the fly is in your hand, smash it with all of your might. Be sure to wash your hands before any meals.

The second way to kill a fly is swatting. This is a much better stress release as the above mentioned technique has actually been known to cause more stress buildup then it could possibly release. Unlike Catching, swatting has no technique at all. Simple find a fly and proceed to swing the swatter with all of your might.







Sometimes you really don’t to be aiming at a fly at all. Just smash whatever it is you hate. (If it’s a sibling, try to swing below the face)

Mosquitoes

Mosquitoes are kind of hard as, most of the time you spot them as they begin sucking blood from your body. If you do spot them, don’t swat them. Please try to remember they are already sucking your blood, and they are on your skin. Therefore you would just be swatting yourself, already getting a lump, and still somehow feeling satisfied for killing one mosquito.

One of the more macho ways to eliminate a mosquito sucking my blood is to flex the muscle. This causes the mosquito to overload, sometimes getting his noodle stuck. Talking to the little guy has been known to relieve some of the pain.
And my personal favorite, moderate the blood favor. This is of course inspired by the old tobasco sauce commercial. Try to avoid being sweet with sugar, and go for the rugged all American spicy stuff.

This actually does nothing to the mosquito but it sure does make you feel better about giving insects your blood.



We hope you enjoyed our post. And remember, we aren’t just funny… we’re really funny.

If you liked this post, please comment.

If you like what we are doing here at RFCN please email us at reallyfunnyclassnotes@gmail.com. If you have any complaints please email us at funnyclassnotes@gmail.com

[useful] Life tip #1

Dont be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
If you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, make sure you aren't on a motorcycle.
If you are in the wrong place at the wrong time on a motorcycle, don't skid to avoid a moose in the road.
If you are in the wrong place at the wrong time on a motorcycle and you skid to avoid a moose in the road, it's better if you hit the moose than a car in the opposite lane of traffic.
http://www.missoulian.com/articles/2007/07/06/news/mtregional/news08.txt

Yes you read it right!

This is the first post of Really Funny Class Notes. We'd just like to explain who we are and what we are doing.

Really Funny Class Notes is a group of guys who are dedicated to being funnier and more interesting than http://funnyclassnotes.blogspot.com/. Being as funny class notes only has about 8 loyal fans, most of which are friends of ours, if not, us, we see it as little challenge to become better, most popular, and all together cooler than funny class notes. In other words, we are tired of you guys getting all the attention.

We'll see who has the girl at the end of the day eh? Not that we need anymore women.

We'll be looking forward to you reading our blog. Tell your friends about us!



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