7/28/07

Why'd he do it?

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Individual perspectives on the matter


Woody Allen: I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything.


Aristotle: To actualize its potential.


Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


Jack Benny: I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking


Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.


Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads


Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death.


Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends
upon your frame of reference.


Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.


M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.


Bill Gates: To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes
at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ...


Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


Edgar Allen Poe: To die. In the rain. Alone.


Sherlock Holmes: Do not concern yourself with the chicken that did cross the road; the answer lies with the chicken that did not cross the road.


Saddam Hussein: It is the Mother of all Chickens.


Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.


Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.


Karl Marx: It crossed twice. First time, it was a tragedy; second time, a farce.


Chico Marx: It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.


Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.


Harpo Marx: Honk! Honk! Honk!


Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.


Plato: For the greater good.


Arnold Schwartznegger: I can puss law givin right for chickens to cross da road, in da grat state of Califourn na, wath all da grat citizens, faster than Grey Dave... or wus it Gray Davy... whatavor his name wus.


Mom: I don't know, but you better look both ways like I taught you if you ever cross the road.


Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been told!


O.J.Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.


Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.


Oprah Winfrey: To avoid mad-chicken disease.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

http://www.beercanchicken.com/jokes.htm

Anonymous said...

You guys sure delete a lot of comments... Anyway, on the post. it was pretty humerous, but it wasn't very original. As far as I could tell you didn't make any of those up.

ReallyfunnyClassnotes said...

Yeah Chris and the other two guys... We made up a few of them but the rest were not original. Sorry, I thought it was funny and you guys would enjoy it so...

Anonymous said...

Don't get me wrong guys, they were funny. I just would like to see more of your original work be funny. You just need more practice, and you'll be on top of the blogosphere.

Anonymous said...

Why do you assume I am a guy???

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