Hollywood Match-making

We here at RFCN have noticed an excessive amount of Bachelors and bachelorettes within the RFCN community. Normally, this is not a bad thing. Normally... but we have indeed noticed that some people are getting desperate. One member of the RFCN administration has noticed in particular an excessive amount of match making, this has become annoying for certain people. But I have noticed that people who are married don’t usually end up on the list of people I should marry. So, because I am brilliant; I came up with a plan. And through this plan everyone is happy. Why? Because who wouldn’t want to marry a movie star?!! Now I know what you're thinking, since when have celebrities had successful marriages? Well you're right, they haven't at all. This is why our plan is so brilliant; marrying responsible homeschoolers is exactly what they need!

So in light of this glistening solution and in honor of failed marriages (and non-existent marriages) we now propose the following homeschooler-celebrity match-ups!!
(Btw, these were picked at random)


Richard and Jessica Alba

Wait, how did that happen? Oh well, guess it's just his day, but it will work out. She is so fine, and they just simply isn’t anyone as deserving as Richard. RFCN gives their blessing on this relationship, may they live in happiness.

Anyways, now that that is done, let's move on. The rest in no particular order:


Katie and Colin Farrell

This is perfect; Katie loves kids and wants a big family. And what a coincidence, we were able to find this photo of Colin playing with a kid...implying that he likes children. This is a perfect match, sure to succeed.

::sigh:: we are so brilliant.


Cody and Anna Nichole Smith

If you play this right, you could get a child from it and a little dinero. I don’t know the legal ramifications of marrying a dead person, but to my knowledge (and we researched this) there have not been any failed attempts... logical extension: success is certain.


Trevor and Oprah Winfrey

They will do fine! They deserve each other, what else can we say?

Side note: You know that forth member of the RFCN blog that... hasn’t really ever logged on… well… ahem. nm.


Kaitlin and Brad Pitt

She’s cute, he’s manly.


Jeremiah and Keira Knightley

He’s cute, she’s manly.




Michele and Jackie Chan

This would probably be a good time to point out that our matching techniques do not include race and age as factors; due to the empirically proven success of ignoring such minor details within the celebrity circles.

That said, we have no doubt that Jackie will be pulling some moves on Michele.


Travis and Orlando Bloom

We know what you’re thinking, it’s wrong to pair 2 girls up… you may have a point. ::looks around:: how did this happen?

If (after you got done laughing) you were offended by that one, we blame it on Microsoft. Anything computer related is always their fault.



Laralyn and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Dang. With Laralyn's obsession over abs; who a better choice then the governator himself? Mr. Universe, the dude has some serious muscles. Maybe he is getting a little old, but considering how ripped he used to be; he’s still got to be more pleasant to look at than most Envoy guys.



Robert and Reece Witherspoon

He is planning on getting a law degree; she got one on and was nice enough to let Hollywood make a movie about it (legally blonde). Do you guys feel the magic with this one? How can you possible get more romantic then chasing ambulances with your significant other? 2 lawyers = 1 happy family. Just be sure to sign the prenuptial agreement.


Kelsey and George Clooney

Both of them eat, sleep and breathe air. That’s 3 of our 4 compatibility variants right there! Our computers are telling us that with all that in common, dude, it’s going to be a relationship that redefines union.

Again, SME (Standard Microsoft Errors) are a factor anytime computers are involved.


Stephanie and Justin Timberlake

Why Stephanie? Simple economics: supply and supply. You supply the money we supply the hot celebrity match-ups. Justin is currently going at $100,000. (Bids go up in $100 increments).


At this point, we realize that you will need protection from the paparazzi, just keep in mind that we do have unemployed assassins available ever since RFC waved the white flag. (Again, for a small fee.)

And for those of you thinking that we need to stop the assassin jokes because they’re lame… don’t worry because we’re dead serious and we need all the money we can con… I mean gain.