Fashion #1

Let the contest begin!
The people have spoken. https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=3366488940857051388&postID=2796665788266684275 They chant cries of fashion and dress. We shall appease the people. The next three days will be posts on fashion.

"Fashion is like ice cream. There is no wrong flavor, just some people have really bad taste." -Robert

Lesson 1: Eskimo boots

Why do people wear them? We shall dress... I mean, address the deep historical and social tension of this very question.

Top reasons

1. They are comfortable.

I would definitely have to say, this an interesting reason. Last time I wore something because it was "comfortable", I was incarcerated. But supposing this was a legimate reason, not legitimate like, honestly legitimate, but just legitimate enough to throw another cloned steak on the barbie, there would still be a question in my mind. Why would girls be willing to wear high heels then? Maybe beauty comes before comfort?

2. They look cool (literally)

Honestly, since when did we start stealing fashion tips from Eskimos?

These boots are made to look like they are ready for the snow, right? Like Cody was made for politics? Like Travis was made to get dumped and rejected by women? Like Daniel was made for... wait, what was Daniel made for? Well, its all wrong anyways (the boots being ready for the snow that is). If you were to wear them in the snow, it would be worse than bare feet; they would turn into ice cubes. So I ask you, why would you want to wear snow boots that really only work in the summer? And you would ask me, why does FCN contiue to make jokes about their 12 visitors? But that's off topic. Its so obvious! So your feet sweat and overheat ... while you look like an Eskimo (If you thought that was a compliment, just stop reading. Go read FCN or something). Maybe, if people read a little history before they picked their clothes, they would realize how the Eskimo's died off. No, it wasn't the government, or Hilary's test run of universal health care in Antarctica. It was Global warming. We aren't talking about spring Mr Cheney. We are talking about, you know, that theory you get a nobel prize just for teaching. Why would warm air kill an Eskimo? If you can't answer that, forget about understanding the deep intellectual jokes of FCN. Actually, if you don't understand half of their outside references, we're all in the same boat there.

Now I wonder, did the Eskimo's die off because they wore Eskimo boots in the heat? Or did they die off because they were dumb enough to wear Eskimo boots in the heat? Obviously since the Eskimo died, and died while wearing the Eskimo boots, the Eskimo died because of wearing the boots. For those of you that do not like my reasoning, I added a footnote.

If they died off because they wore Eskimo boots, that would lead to the conclusion that they died because they were dumb enough to wear Eskimo boots. However, if they died because they were dumb enough to wear Eskimo boots, maybe they didn't wear the Eskimo boots when they died. Maybe, they just fell over and died. Because, anyone dumb enough to wear Eskimo boots in the heat is dumb enough to die without the Eskimo boots, right? But Eskimo's and Eskimo boots are not mutually exclusive. Can you have an Eskimo, that wears boots, that doesn't' wear Eskimo boots? Obviously not. When an Eskimo wears a boot, its an Eskimo boot, because its worn by an Eskimo. And since Eskimo's always wear boots, the Eskimo boots killed the Eskimo.

Or was it Al Gore that killed the Eskimos... But wait! It's all coming together... if you are dumb enough to wear Eskimo boots in the summer... then maybe you should be extinct too? And I don't mean extinct like those polar bears who are increasing in population. But isn't this all part of that other theory?

No, that's just cruel. I couldn't bare the thought of a world without females. No Jessica Alba. No Carrie Underwood. Not even a wild snorlax. Only Him. And Him. And wow... that guy's kinda cute. Opps, I meant this guy. And I'm not too sure whether this "guy" would be there. But anyways... That is not to say, I couldn't bare the thought of females without worthless snow wanna-be boots. But then again, its not looking like a world without females is what we should be worried about (no really, click the link).

So, for the love of all that is good and holy and beautiful, please don't wear Eskimo boots.

RFCN fashion advice tip #1 "Think to yourself, what would an Eskimo not wear? And then, wear it. Unless of course you thought of not wearing anything."